


EPISODE FOUR: It Came from Thrifty's

by J_COTW



Series: A Return to the Falls [12]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Dipcifica, F/M, Gen, Gravity Falls Oregon, Inspired By Gravity Falls, Post-Gravity Falls, dippifica
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 21:14:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 35,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24882139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_COTW/pseuds/J_COTW
Summary: After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"
Relationships: Pacifica Northwest/Dipper Pines
Series: A Return to the Falls [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1764109
Comments: 130
Kudos: 156
Collections: Dipcífica, Gravity Falls, gravity falls





	1. Post Sleepover

**_6AM. Gravity Falls, Oregon._ **

**_It’s Summer. It’s warm. The town still has free parking._ **

**_And Pacifica Northwest, once the richest girl in town, was still living in the attic of a shack in the middle of the forest._ **

The sun bit hard into her eyes as she stirred awake; sun beams glared through the window, picking up specks of dust and the odd stray cobweb from the rafters of the shack.

She slowly sat up, far too warm in her outsized nightshirt and far too tired to process the fact it was daytime. It had been another sleepover, and it had gone about as well as every other sleepover.

Roughly, that translated to a combination of utterly amazing at the time, and a _horrific mistake_ the next morning.

She sighed and smiled to herself as she looked at her friends.

Grenda was the most peaceful sleeper, ironically, out of all of them.

Candy’s snoring was completely uncharacteristic, Mabel tended to chew her pillow while talking about Candy Pups or some _nonsense_ , and she herself had an awkward habit of grinding her teeth – when she actually got to sleep.

She had always thought they were the most annoying kids on Earth, but that had long since changed. She loved the three of them.

Mabel was impossible to be miserable around, Grenda was utterly earnest in her enthusiasm – as loud and overbearing as it could be – and Candy was probably the smartest person she had ever met. Except for Ford. And Ford kind of doomed the world because a triangle complimented him.

Candy also brought her laptop, which was _full_ of pirated movies. Weird movies nobody had ever seen before, B Movies and strange horror films that Pacifica unironically found herself _absolutely adoring._ Seeing the world away from a mansion where only the best was allowed still felt new and exciting, if somewhat visceral and uncomfortable.

Unfortunately, there was always that nagging voice in the back of her head that constantly told her she didn’t belong. Her lack of willingness to let the others apply her makeup during sleepovers was still as stubborn as ever – her need to keep things clean and tidy was still enforced as well as it might have been if Preston and Priscilla were stood over her with that damned bell. Her fear of evoking anger in her elders, her almost constant need to be better than the others at things, her desperate clamouring for competitiveness and success, that little voice just telling _her over and over again that she was a Northwest and nothing would ever change that no matter how hard she tried-_

_Deep breaths._

Sleep was difficult. Sleep was _extremely_ difficult when you were still getting used to sleeping in a cheap sheet, with Pitt cola instead of mineral water, in a creaky wooden building with a giant chess piece sticking out of the roof…

With a Mabel chewing her pillow and talking to some sort of invisible dog made of sugar.

She was beginning to wonder if she was adopting Dipper’s insomnia. Or just his habit of overthinking.

Either that or she was just being kept awake by the sound of Mabel chewing on her pillow.

She slowly raised herself from bed, wishing more than ever she had the wonderful thick carpet she had been blessed by at home, before trudging downstairs with her coffee cup. She had grown to just accept the Pines’ family coffee, and the fact that Stan just thought it was _fine_ to give black coffee to a thirteen year old. Who was she to question it?

Ford at least had an excuse. She was pretty sure it counted as an excuse. Being off-dimension for 30 years will probably skew your views of what’s suitable for children. Hell, she was kind of surprised he didn’t smoke. Didn’t everyone in the 80s smoke? She was pretty sure everyone in the 80s smoked.

It was as if some sort of otherworldly force forbade them from displaying such things.

_Weird._

The blonde sat down quietly in the kitchen and held her head, murmuring inarticulately as she waited for the coffee maker to finally start bubbling into action.

It was 6AM. She didn’t even have work today, and she was up at 6AM, all because her brain was rattling around in her head like the pea in a whistle. Part of her wanted desperately to just go be with Dipper. He was only down the hall. Would it be so wrong to just… say hi? Cuddle up for a bit next to him and pretend things were a bit more peaceful?

She blushed fiercely.

No, that was out of the question. Imagine what people would _think_. He was a thirteen year old boy, she was a thirteen year old girl… she was pretty sure he was obsessed with her. And pretty certain he was _attracted_ to her. And... well…

She _loved_ him. Sure, he was a dork, he was weedy, he was a bit over-speculative and nervous and awkward and – and – and every time she thought of these things, they made her smile. A wistful smile that faded off into the distance.

He was, despite everything, despite a complete lack of heroic charisma, her hero – a hero who pulled her out of a terrible situation, pulled her out of her rich brat bubble, pulled her away from ghosts – he had saved her; she was utterly convinced that Dipper Pines was the best thing that had ever happened to her.

She scrolled the photos she had taken with him on her phone with a wide grin as the coffee maker boiled and rattled on the kitchen counter, filling the room with that comforting smell of cheap, slightly over roasted, poorly ground coffee…

“What would I do without you, Dipper Pines?” She sighed to herself.

“I mean, you’d probably not overfill the coffee maker again, blondie.”

Grunkle Stan stumbled exhaustedly into the kitchen, shuffling somewhat in his slippers as he steadied the vintage coffee maker and waited for it to finish boiling.

“Could ya not go for some damned freeze dried stuff? Jeesh. You fancy pants rich kids.”

“Morning, Mr. Pines.”

“Stan’s fine, sweetheart. Let’s not keep the fanciness up, huh? You’re in a log cabin in the forest.”

“Sorry.”

“’Salright. I’m joking. You’re a breath of fresh air, all those Ps and Qs and whatever.” Stan choked momentarily and pulled a hair from his throat, rolling it up and throwing it in the sink like it was nothing.

Pacifica blinked. It looked like one of his shoulder hairs. Gross.

“So watcha doin’ up so early, toots?”

“Just thinking, Mr. Pine- uh. Grunkle Stan.”

“That’s better. Thinkin’ about Dippy, huh?” The old man groaned as he stood back up and grabbed the milk from the fridge. “Did _you_ know his name is Mason? Mason?! I had no idea. I swear, Ford drains all of the info from that kid. Even his mom and pops call him Dipper. Crazy world.”

Pacifica smiled. She found herself… well, she found herself _respecting_ Grunkle Stan. And Grunkle Ford. They were both a bit… odd, and Stan was about as crude as they come, but they were the two most supportive people she had ever met – at least, once they’d gotten to know her. Underneath all of that gruffness and… lack of refinement, there were two genuinely amazing people.

She kind of preferred Stan. Ford was great, but he did have a habit of being a little bit arrogant and distant.

She _preferred_ Stan but she _related_ to Ford.

Stan sat back down and scratched his head awkwardly. “Listen, uh… toots, I know it’s probably a bit rough with the whole… family thing, right? I mean- y’know. I uh… I don’t want to pry or anything, but after Summer…?”

Pacifica winced and took a deep breath. “I uh… I don’t know.”

“I…uh… I don’t want you going back to your Pops, if we can help it. I mean – I know we ain’t a good match, really, but... uh, if you want to be a ship’s mate or something, we could take you in the Stan O’War.” Stan stammered just as much as Dipper when a subject felt awkward or complicated.

Pacifica looked up at Stan and tried to hide her hesitation. “I uh… I dunno, Stan, I- I’m not really an adventurer…”

“Hey, I get it. I just feel like we need a plan or something. I know Susan would love to take you in, but uh… Mr. Cat Face, the ginger fella, he’s savage. You could even stay here if you wanted to, but Soos isn’t exactly a responsible guardian.”

“Are you?”

“Fair point. Walked into that one.”

The two paused as the coffee maker finally finished pouring – only just having missed boiling over.

“Look, just think about it, huh? I’d love to say you’d have a waiting family in Piedmont with the kids, but their mom and pops aren’t going to accept a lodger out of the blue, especially in the same household as her boyfriend.”

“I don’t want to leave Gravity Falls. I like it here. Maybe I’ll move in with the Corduroys or something.”

Stan smiled. “Sounds like a better plan than two old men on a boat, huh?”

“I’ll still think about it, Grunkle Stan. Thank you.”

“Lotta things worse for a kid than seeing monsters in the ocean. Trust me.” Stan took a big chug of coffee and scratched himself. “Now look, I know what you teens are like with your hormones and junk – just uh, just keep a distance huh? You’re a bit young to be foolin’ around-“

Dipper flung himself into the room, nearly sliding on the cheap linoleum in his socks. “Wh-What?! Stan, don’t talk to her about that stuff!”

Pacifica yelped in surprise and gripped the table. “Dip?! Don’t _do that_!”

“He’s been stood outside the kitchen for a good ten minutes.” Stan rolled his eyes. “Got a habit of that, haven’t you, kid? At least when Blondie’s involved.”

“I uh-… you’re nuts, I just uh- I just came for a cup of coffee.” Dipper stammered, pouring himself a cup of the thick, black liquid.

“You don’t even like coffee, Dip.” Pacifica protested.

“I can handle it. I’m a man.” He snapped back before taking a generous sip, purely out of principle.

The instant revulsion was clear – whether it was the tears in his eyes, the shudder in his shoulders or the choking sound coming from his throat. Pacifica just giggled and smiled at Dipper. “You’re cute.”

“I’m _not_ cute.” Dipper snapped back – with a wide grin on his face, trying his damnedest not to show how much he loved being called cute by the new kid in the house.

“You should hear him sneeze.” Stan laughed, slapping his nephew on the back and cackling. “He’s like a puppy or something!”

Dipper stopped grinning.

_Another morning in the new household, I guess._


	2. Family Values

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

Pacifica sipped her coffee as the familiar thumping and shouting began from upstairs. Grenda, Candy and Mabel were awake and probably already starting a game of indoors golf, or pillow fighting, or flipping all of the furniture upside down for _literally no reason._

Dipper tried to keep drinking his coffee – with limited success, and glared at his Grunkle as he made them breakfast – still irritated by the idea of he and his girlfriend ‘fooling around’ and the reference to his embarrassingly adorable sneezes.

Pacifica rolled her eyes and smirked as she watched the grouchy, tired nerd. Teenage boys were so _moody_ when it came to a little bit of teasing. She gently poked his leg with her foot and shot him a wink – a sure fire way to break any bad mood from the Pines twin.

It worked, of course. It always worked.

“So what are you kids up to today, huh?” Stan asked from over the hissing, most likely long-condemned oven.

“I dunno.” Dipper replied, simply. “After the past few days it’d be nice to do something…well, normal.”

“Mini golf?” Pacifica beamed.

“I said normal. Not tiny golf ball headed…things trying to get revenge.”

Pacifica gave a mock pout. “You’re no fun. Fine, what about the mall?”

“Why would you wanna go there?” Stan snorted, sliding the first pancake off of the pan and onto Dipper’s plate. “It’s all crap, kids. Trust me. I’m a master of overpriced merchandise.”

“Pretty sure Soos is doing it better.” Dipper mumbled. “He’s still selling invisible hats.”

Pacifica squirmed and tried to keep the conversation on track. “Seriously, guys, I’ll buy you all lunch if you want. Let’s go out, let’s spend some time together – y’know, as a family?”

Dipper and Stan both looked over at her and cocked their heads somewhat at the Northwest girl, their eyebrows raised. She immediately shrunk back and held her hands between her legs, looking away from the two.

“It’d be… nice. To do something together, I mean.”

Dipper glanced up at his Grunkle, who was trying to hide his somewhat emotional reaction. “Well, I mean…”

Stan slipped a pancake onto Pacifica’s plate and smiled widely, ruffling Pacifica’s hair.

“Blondie, if you want to go out with the family, you’re welcome to it. Don’t ever feel embarrassed about asking, got it?”

“Then… I’d like to do that, please. It’d be… nice. My mom and Dad have never really… y’know.” She sighed and looked down at her coffee cup.

Dipper almost instinctively stood up and wrapped an arm around her. “We aren’t Northwests, Pacifica. We’re your family now.”

The young socialite gave a wide smile and held onto Dipper’s arm, looking deep into his eyes with her own pupils like saucers.

It felt good to belong.

“…As long as Dipper’s not like your brother or something. That’d be weird.”

Dipper and Pacifica both looked up, bewildered, at Stan.

“…What? It would be weird. What?!”

The awkward silence was shattered – as was a window upstairs – as Mabel promptly grappled her way onto the totem pole in the Mystery Shack car park, sitting astride it in a Victory stance.

“Boom! Piece of cake, ladies!” she shouted at the top of her lungs, to a refrain of enthusiastic cheering from the attic bedroom. “Now somebody get me down… **_Grunkle Staaaaaaan_**!”

Stan sighed and went to fetch the ladder. For what was the fourteenth time this Summer – at least, the fourteenth of the Summer so far. “You sure you want this family, sweetheart?”

“Yes. Definitely. Absolutely.” Pacifica beamed. She felt excited. Genuinely, sincerely excited about the idea of just going shopping with her new family. It felt like, for the first time in her life, she might get to do normal things with the people she loved and cared about.

And like… going on a date at the mall. That was a normal person thing too, right? She could spend money, she could buy herself some stuff and she could do it with her boyfriend.

That felt pretty special. ‘Normal’.

Even if the normality involved her future sister in law being stuck on top of a totem pole before it was even 7AM.

Did she just refer to Mabel as her Sister in law?

Na, _future_. _Future_ sister in law. That wasn’t too fast or out of the ordinary, right? I mean, who knows what the future holds…

The future. That was what was really beginning to plague Pacifica right now – she knew Grunkle Stan was right. Once summer was over, things were going to get precarious. She hadn’t tried to think about it too much – live in the now, right? But the future looked decidedly less rosy than she’d like to admit.

Would she just end up back in her old household? Surrounded by cats with Lazy Susan? The Corduroy coffee girl?

Pacifica joined the girls to get ready as she mulled it over in her head quietly.

Could she even entertain the idea of stepping out to the ocean and living on a boat with two old men chasing…lizards and stuff? Was that really better than a place of stringent restrictions and two aging, disgraced socialites living vicariously through her?

She didn’t really want _any_ of those things. She would prefer things to stay as they _are_ ; so far, even with all of the drama, ghosts, being sucked into a video game and staging war against an all-out business coup, this was the best summer of her life.

Her first summer as Pacifica Pines – and she was utterly determined to not make it her last.

She smiled. Pacifica Pines. She was pretty okay with that name. She was pretty okay with the idea of spending the future with Dipper.

Pacifica Pines.

Pacifica Pines..

_Pacifica Pines..._

“ **Pacifica. Pacifica, you okay**?” Grenda shouted, shoving her with a little bit more force than she seemed to realise - sending her somewhat more sophisticated friend onto the floor. “ **You were spaced out! Like Candy after eating pop rocks!** ”

Pacifica picked herself back up off of the floor and glared at Grenda. “I’m fine. Just… just thinking.”

“She’s thinking about Dipper.” Candy said matter of factly. “The blush in her cheeks is the giveaway.”

“ **No way Candy, you don’t know what goes on her head**!”

“I have a chart for all of my friends.” Candy grinned, unrolling a large paper graph from her rugsack. “You see, every time Pacifica spaces out, she’s daydreaming – and when she blushes, there’s an 83% chance that it’s-“

Pacifica smiled at the fact she was just called a friend – even if it was by a girl who had apparently been keeping charts of her behaviour.

By the time they had all bundled up in Stan’s battered red Cadillac, Pacifica was beaming. It was time to get the thoughts of the future out of her head and live it in the moment.

A family outing.

A _proper_ family outing.

Nothing would ruin this for her. She wouldn’t let it.

“Aren’t we going to ask Ford?” Pacifica asked – though she was somewhat relieved for the extra space in that trashy Sedan that Stan insisted on treating as a motor vehicle.

“Sixer’s a bit busy playing your Blood Death game or whatever. Says it’s essential research.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	3. Thrifty's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The Gravity Falls Mall - or, as someone _utterly hilarious_ had called it, _**Gravity Malls**_ , was not exactly the biggest in the state. Or the best. Or even remotely decent to the outside world - but it had a roof, a food court, a build-a-beaver workshop and at least one floor full of stores, so who could really complain?

Being there in a group was something new to Pacifica. Being there with a guy was even more of a novelty – even if she did have to take her hand back off of him occasionally to wipe it.

Man, he had sweaty palms.

It was also one of the first times they had been out together just doing…normal things. Half of the town had always suspected there was something going on; but after it being made ‘official’ in front of her father at the McCatt building site, it had garnered plentiful attention.

Not that Pacifica wasn’t used to attention, of course – but everybody smiling at them, comments of them being ‘adorable together’ and people acting like they were the cutest couple in town – it’s no wonder it was new to her boyfriend.

Dipper only seemed to grow more nervous and disturbed by people’s eyes being on him. He was hardly charismatic at the best of times, but this - being seen in public with the town’s sweetheart, everybody staring at him - brought on more than its usual branch of anxiety.

“Dip, it’s about time you learned how to impress people. Follow my lead.”

Dipper blinked. “Huh?”

Before he said another word, Pacifica pulled his hand down to her waist and wrapped her arm around his. “Just walk with a bit more confidence, Dip. I’ve got you.”

Dipper stared at his hand on Pacifica’s waist as if it was about to burst into flames. Right now, he felt like his face _was_ bursting into flames.

Pacifica smiled reassuringly. “I know it isn’t easy, but you can fake confidence, hon. Calm down for once, huh? I’m not going to judge you.”

Stan smirked to himself. He remembered his own high school romances. Kelly, her name was. Or Sarah. Something like that, guiding his hands onto her hips and kissing him as they walked through the corridor, everybody wearing varsity jackets and hair oil, before they dived into a perfectly choreographed danced number…

Those were the days. Oh yes, he remembered it well.

…Vaguely.

Maybe he was just remembering a movie.

“Just follow my lead.” Pacifica continued in her best reassuring voice. “You’ll want to look good if the newspapers print our photos.”

“N-Newspapers?” Dipper stammered.

“Hey, Mabel got photographed with Gideon. You think you wouldn’t get photographed with _me_?”

“I mean… I know who I’d rather photograph, heh-“

Pacifica smirked. “You’re _terrible_ , Dipper Pines.”

Mabel ran by, breaking the tender moment as she flew towards the thrift store. “Best store best store best store best store!”

Pacifica froze at the sight of the run down thrift shop tucked into a dark corner of the mall. “I’ve never been in there before…what’s **_Thrifty’s_**? A brand?”

“It’s all second hand stuff.” Dipper smiled, walking – as casually as he could – with Pacifica to the trashy little sun greyed retail unit.

“It’s cheap.” Stan grinned. “That means it’s great.”

“So… wait. These things are all _super cheap_ because somebody has already _owned them_.”

Pacifica felt a little lost at the revelation that was **_Shop Thrifty’s._** Beyond being a filthy, scruffy retail unit full of filthy, scruffy things that smelt like dust and moisture, it felt more like a garage sale than a shop. People dived into and rummaged around in the … in the filth like it was nothing.

It felt like a dive back in time, some sort of weird alternate universe store where everything was about thirty years old and still managed to look _older_.

She daren’t touch the stuff in case something bit off her hand. It wasn’t an exaggeration – she was pretty sure that possum in the corner wasn’t a plush toy, and that red stuff on its face didn’t look like lipstick.

Strawberries. Must be strawberries. Right?

She didn’t know who she was trying to fool.

“Isn’t it great?!” Mabel grinned in her typically over-enthusiastic manner. “I can get like… all of the yarn, just because someone’s grandma died!”

“Mabel, you can’t just say that.” Dipper snapped.

“It says so on the sign.”

**GET ALL OF THE YARN FROM OUR DEAD GRANDPARENT BRIEFCASE!**

“…Huh.”

Pacifica stayed close to Dipper. Probably far too close, judging from the pink hue on his cheeks and the rigid stance he was holding. She briefly wrapped her arms around his waist for security – and her own amusement. As much as she was trying to bring him out of his shell, she simultaneously kind of hoped Dipper would _never_ stop being so damned awkward around her; she felt like a million dollars whenever he acted like her touching him was a revelation.

Technically, she was worth _more_ than a million dollars – at least until she was finally cut out of the will by her Dad – but the thought still counts, right?

This store smelled. This store _stank to high heaven._

“Dipper, can we get out of here?”

“C’mon Paz, it’s fun.”

“I’m not finding it very fun. I’m finding it gross and disturbing.”

“Y’know what else is gross and disturbing?” Mabel chimed in. “Dipper’s diary. It’s just page to page Pacifica this, Pacifica that – I dreamt about Pacifica, Pacifica looks great in-“

Dipper slapped his hand over Mabel’s mouth. “She’s lying. I don’t have a diary.”

“Oh no, I _have_ to hear about this. Since when have you had a diary?”

Mabel wrestled out of Dipper’s grip and shouted at the top of her voice. “And he wrote that you’re _super hot_!”

Everybody turned to face them, including the scowling old woman at the counter.

Pacifica burst into giggling, her cheeks salmon pink, beginning to go for her age old trick of adjusting her hair whenever she felt nervous or flustered.

A humiliated Dipper tried to avoid her glance and darted his eyes around the shop floor, desperately looking for something to change the subject.

Desperately, _desperately_ trying to find a distraction.

Any distraction.

_Bingo._

“Whoa, wh-what’s that?” Dipper stammered, striding straight over to an otherwise completely inconspicuous shelf of bric-a-brac.

“I’ll get you a copy of his diary.” Mabel whispered to Pacifica. “It’s great. I’m thinking about sending it to a publisher.”

“You’re nuts.” Pacifica giggled, shoving Mabel playfully. “And the best.”

“I know.” The chirpy Pines twin beamed. “I _always_ knew. And I _always_ knew you’d end up together.”

“You did not.”

“I _totally_ did.”

“I take it back. You’re the worst.”

“Naaa.” Mabel beamed. “I’m the best. And, Miss Northwest, I’m also required _elsewhere_.”

Mabel put on her best Pacifica impression – complete with arranging her hair into a vague attempt at a fringe – and attempted a fancy walk to the piles of yarn bulging out of a broken suitcase.

“I happen to be like, a total champion at like…knitting.”

Pacifica tried to hold in her laughter desperately. “I like, do not talk like that!”

She covered her mouth. _Oh man, do I talk like that?_

“I’m just messing, Pazzzzz! Don’t worry, Dipper says he likes your voice in his diary. Which I’m still going to show you.”

Pacifica chuckled to herself, and looked back over to the dork in the lumberjack hat and vest – who was still peering over the shelf of cheap glassware and trinkets.

She decided to go see what all of the fuss was about. Dipper wouldn’t be _that_ fascinated unless it was something _really cool_ or _really_ _dorky_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	4. Trinkets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

“Watcha looking at, nerd?” Pacifica teased as she leaned over his shoulder.

She blinked.

“Wait. That’s it?”

Dipper was holding a snowglobe; an ornamental snowglobe with a poorly painted rendition of Gravity Falls stuck inside it, on a resin plinth that was made to look like a tree stump.

It was cheap; _obviously_ cheap. A piece of tacky Souvenir stuff that nobody would pay a second glance to. The sort of thing Soos sold at the Mystery Shack for ten times its value. The sort of cheap trinket a granny puts in her cabinet and allows to attract a two inch thick layer of dust.

She had to admit - it would look fairly charming, were it not painted in a sweatshop by people who had never _even_ seen the place they were making merchandise for. For that matter, were it not painted by people whom seemingly had no thumbs…

The entire town was inside it - the railroad bridge, the floating cliffs, the lakes… everything that the place was famous for. She could _sort of_ make out every little detail and feature, recognise them as parts of her home. One poorly painted house even looked like a dead ringer – sort of - for Northwest Manor, complete with gates and blue splodges of paint that – she assumed – were meant to resemble peacocks.

The fact there was no Mystery Shack – or even the mall – betrayed the snowglobe’s age. It must have been more than forty, maybe even fifty years old. That was crazy. Who cared enough about Gravity Falls back then to make a freaking Snowglobe out of it?

The water inside it was a little bit yellowed. Gross.

Yep, Pacifica's judgement hadn't improved on a more detailed look at the thing.

“...It’s just a tacky snowglobe. What’s the deal?”

“I dunno.” Dip replied, his eyes fixed upon it. “I just…like it.”

Dipper held up the Snowglobe carefully, dusting it off with his shirt as he examined the cheap trinket. It was surprisingly weighty, rattled slightly when it was lifted, and featured an almost perfect replica of the town – again, if it had been painted by somebody with no thumbs.

But for some reason, that didn’t quite matter to him.

He liked it.

He liked it a lot.

It looked almost idyllic.

As much as he wanted to hate the blatant piece of tat, he found himself smiling as he looked upon its gentle flurry of polystyrene pieces masquerading as snowfall. It reminded him how much he loved the town of Gravity Falls – the beautiful scenery, the dramatic cliffs, the valleys and waterfalls…

It made him feel _home_.

It made him want to take it – and keep it – and look after it. Keep it as a little reminder of the place that had changed his life, brought him to a whole new world, given him the love of his life, and developed a new fascination within him.

All in a snowglobe. A cute little snowglobe.

“I think I’ll buy it.” He said, picking it up proudly.

“Well… okay.” Pacifica smiled, one eyebrow still raised. “I’ll buy it for you.”

“Really? Wow, thanks Pacifica!”

“Relax, Dip. It’s just a couple of bucks…”

“Whoaaaa! Cool Snowglobe!” Mabel gasped, clapping her hands onto her cheeks. “I love it!”

“Paz is buying it for me.” Dipper grinned. “Isn’t she the best?”

“I can _totally_ hear wedding bells.” Mabel gushed. “Aww, Pazzz, That’s so _sweet_!”

“It’s… it’s just a snowglobe.” Pacifica felt bewildered.

She was happy they liked it, but…she didn’t really get why anybody would be so fascinated by a snowglobe. It was just a glass ball filled with water and some…cheap, painted ceramic. Or plastic, or something.

Must be a city thing, she reckoned. She’d grown up in the town her entire life – of course a snowglobe of the place wouldn’t do much to impress her. Maybe she’d get just as attached to a snowglobe of Piedmont.

Did it even snow in California? Hell, from what she knew of California, how did Dipper manage to keep such a milky white complexion?

_Weird._

Stan promptly joined the group, carrying all manner of obscure nautical junk which he was _utterly convinced_ would be _essential_ on the Stan O’War. “What are you kids crowding around? Is it cheap?”

“Look what we found!” Dipper grinned, holding up the little trinket.

“Ha! That’s pretty sweet. I’ll buy it!”

“No need, Pacifica’s buying it for me.” Dipper replied proudly, wrapping his arm firmly around Pacifica’s waist.

Pacifica blinked, taken by surprise from the sudden burst of confidence from her boyfriend, and tried to fight off the inevitable blushing. “I uh-“

“Brings a bit of warmth to an old man’s heart. You’re in it deep, huh blondie?” Stan grinned, ruffling Pacifica’s hair.

Pacifica adjusted her hair back into place and grimaced. “It’s… it’s a snowglobe. It’s like, two bucks.”

“That all?” Stan crouched down to get a closer look. “I’d have guessed fifty.”

Pacifica’s eyes widened.

Something was wrong, here. There was no way that _Stan Pines_ , of all people, would overvalue _anything_. What the hell was with this snowglobe?

She took another glance at it suspiciously.

She presumed the only way to get to the bottom of what was so weirdly attractive about the little trinket was to… well, buy it as promised. Besides, if it made Dipper happy… who was she to argue?

Maybe it was nothing. Maybe she was just being irrational. Maybe this is just how city folks were with souvenirs? She’d never actually _bought_ a souvenir. In fact, considering how often she had been jet set to expensive hotels for her dad’s meetings, she hadn’t really felt like a tourist at all in her life.

When she couldn’t turn to her own experience, she relied on the Pines family. It just… made sense to trust them on this.

I mean, it was just a snowglobe, and it made them happy. What’s the harm? Nevermind the fact it barely even sounded like a real word anymore.

 _Weird_.

But hey. She trusted them - they were the Pines. They hadn’t steered her wrong yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	5. Food Court

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The somewhat doddery old lady at the checkout seemed all too pleased to get rid of the little snowglobe. She was a friendly sort of woman, though she couldn’t see very well. She had attempted to give Mabel a dog treat – which she had accepted, naturally – and thought that Pacifica’s hair was a hat.

Pacifica ultimately decided her thoughts on thrift stores were mixed. This place was weird, it smelt, the stock was more like trash and Mabel was eating the biscuit bone a little bit… _too_ contently.

Still, Dipper kissed her and thanked her very sincerely for the snowglobe. That was… fine. She guessed. She still didn’t really get it; but it was taking his mind off of his anxiety, and he was holding her.

She liked _that_.

She liked seeing Dipper happy – it was nice to see him spending less time darting his eyes around the place and averting her gaze, and more time just being… content, for once, even if she still felt suspicious of the yellowed little ornament that now sat in her purse.

She dragged him around the clothing stores, tried on a few things, asked for his opinion, got irritated by his constant compliments – then got irritated when he stopped giving constant compliments… it was all pretty normal date stuff.

Pacifica was basically having the time of _her life_ being _normal_ for once.

Normal… Except for the fact Mabel tried on every single piece of colourful clothing in the store and started bedazzling a sweatshirt before she’d even paid for it. And Stan considering a way into the back room of an Electronics store to rob the place.

Mostly normal. The Pines family normal.

The day went by quickly, and, by the end of it, Pacifica was holding Dipper tightly and was fixed in a broad grin. “This is the best day ever.”

“Yeah?” Dipper smiled. “I’m glad. You deserve it, Pacifica.”

She threw her arms around him, feeling so invigorated and excited she didn’t even consider the fact Mabel was squealing with happiness in the background. “I just wish I could buy you more stuff than just that snowglobe! Don’t you want any, like, books or anything?”

“I’m fine, honestly.” Dipper chuckled. “You’ve bought me enough. That Snowglobe means a lot to me.”

“It seems to mean a lot to _all of you_. I don’t get it.”

“I guess it’s hard to explain if you’ve lived here all of your life. It’s just… comforting, y’know? To have a bit of the town with me. Like, after Summer, who knows what could happen?”

Pacifica cringed at the idea of ‘after summer’. She had to admit, trying to hold onto Gravity Falls…that made sense. She wanted to hold onto her new family and still had no idea how to do it.

The momentary panic flashed by her again. The uncertainty. The wonder of what could happen after summer. The fear of going back with her old family, or having to get used to a different household again, or, worse, being stuck just… alone.

Without Dipper. Without Mabel. Without the Grunkles.

She briefly wondered if after summer meant after _them_. If, after all this, they were just a fleeting _summer_ ‘thing’, that Dipper would leave her and go back to Piedmont. Forget about her for another year.

_Deep breaths, Pacifica. Get it out of your mind._

She looked down at the floor and rubbed her arm uneasily.

_Try not to panic. It isn’t worth worrying about. It **is** worth worrying about, but not yet._

“I guess, yeah. I suppose you would want to keep the place with you.” She smiled, uneasily.

“Besides!” Mabel – almost literally – dove into the conversation. “It’s small, old and cute, just like the lady that gave me a milk bone!”

“Yeah, it is. Okay, I understand – just… let’s go get lunch, huh?” Pacifica smiled.

It was a weak, scared little smile. Not Pacifica’s usual brand of smug confidence.

Dipper and Mabel glanced at eachother.

“Are… you okay, Paz?” Mabel ventured, prodding her in the arm.

“I’m fine.” Pacifica sighed. “Come on, I’m hungry.”

Mabel tried to pry further, but Dipper promptly told her to drop it. He had heard enough of the conversation that morning to couple up Pacifica’s worries.

The Pines were soon clustered around one of the tiny food court tables, laden with different shopping bags and entirely different food options.

It would be fair to say the Pines had very different tastes at lunch. Pacifica had kind of underestimated how _difficult_ the four clashing personalities would be to order for, especially when there was six different food stands.

Stan wanted steak. Nothing new there, though he constantly complained that it got stuck in his false teeth and that it wasn’t rare enough – even if it looked more like a raw lump of cow than a properly fried sirloin.

Mabel wanted cupcakes. Far too many neon coloured cupcakes…

And Dipper wanted a burger and fries. Fine, that – that made sense. She wasn’t really used to this whole _poor person food_ thing, and figured his option was about the safest one on offer. She was already guiltily obsessed with anything deep fried – deep fried and smothered in salt couldn’t be much more out of the ordinary, right?

She was wrong. She was so, so wrong. The heartburn felt almost instantaneous.

It made her Diner look like high cuisine.

“So, pass me the snowglobe huh? I’d like a look at that thing.” Stan said – with his mouth full.

Pacifica smiled and brought it out of her purse, giving it a brief, suspicious glance before she handed it to Stan.

“Ahh, this – you see, this is beautiful. I wonder if there are any others by the peeps who made the thing?”

“If there is I think I’d like to collect them.” Dipper nodded, enthusiastically.

“Whoa, it could be our new hobby!” Mabel beamed, giving her wide-eyed smile and clapping her hands together. “I wonder if they have anything with rainbows!”

“We can look on eBuyer or something.” Dipper smiled.

“Or just look on the internet.” Stan shrugged.

Dipper blinked and just shook his head. _Old people._

Stan rubbed his chin as he examined the cheap resin ornament. “Says on the base it’s made by C-B Industries. Ever heard of ‘em?”

“If you haven’t, we won’t have.” Dipper shrugged. “I’ll do a Goggle search for it tonight.”

“Why can’t you just look it up on the internet?”

“I- you- …” Dipper sighed. “Nevermind.” **_Old people!_**

Pacifica ate quietly as she listened to the conversation. Something still seemed really weird about the entire family pining over the thing. ( _Heh. Pining_.) Especially when she herself just didn’t see… anything particularly great about the tacky piece of resin and glass.

She was pretty eager to get her own look at the thing once everyone else’s excitement had dissipated. She wanted to prove to herself it wasn’t some kind of crazy… mystery… thing.

It was probably nothing. It was probably just her misadventures with the kids getting to her, that’s all.

Her thoughts were beginning to stray once again to the matter of the future. _After Summer, who knows what would happen…_

Dipper’s words replayed over and over in her head.

She held Dipper’s hand under the table a flashed him a tiny little smile. Try and keep a brave face, Pacifica. Relax. Don't let them know it worries you. There was plenty of Summer to spare, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	6. Fixation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The journey back to the shack was uneventful. Pacifica was, however, unusually quiet. She was still processing the thoughts that were sweeping through her. It was only natural that Dipper should notice.

After summer.

_After summer._

**_After summer…_ **

He held Pacifica’s hand and budged a little bit closer to her, eager to try and cheer her up as much as he could – though, deep down, he didn’t have much in the way of comfort. He didn’t really have anything useful to say – just like Stan, he could only suggest …less than satisfactory answers.

He watched as she gazed out of the window – and opened his mouth to say something. The problem was he _just didn’t know what to say._

Pacifica took a deep breath and watched the trees – and the wrecked gas station site, now being inhabited by gnomes – pass by the window, trying to distract herself.

_Rustle rustle_

She turned her head and watched in concern as Dipper let go of her hand and took out the ornament, smiling at it proudly, giving the somewhat yellowed water a shake as the Sedan rumbled down the dirt road towards the shack.

Pacifica’s concern about the odd little thing flooded back. Dipper could be a bit easily distracted or fixated – but to drop comforting her and instead focus on a two dollar piece of plastic (or resin. Whatever!) was a bit… unusual for him. He was usually dedicated.

Was she just being needy…?

“Dip, maybe you should, like, put it away for a while? I mean-“

“I’m just looking at it, that’s all.”

“Dip, there can’t be anything you’ve not already noticed.”

“I’m just **_looking_** , Paz! Jeez!"

Pacifica blinked.

Dipper had just… snapped at her.

_Dipper had just snapped at her. Over a Snowglobe._

_This was weird._

_Something was up._

“Hey, guys. How was the mall?” Wendy asked with her usual lack of enthusiasm, ducked firmly behind her latest copy of **_Indie Fuzz_**. “Same as usual?”

“It was awesome! I got a free milk bone!” Mabel gushed, running into the gift shop enthusiastically with her sweater sleeves flapping. “And cupcakes!”

“...Cool.” Wendy said, an eyebrow raised. As familiar as she was with Mabel by now, the kid still found ways to… well, surprise her.

“And we got this!” Dipper grinned, taking out the trinket and placing it on the counter. “Check it out!”

Pacifica looked up curiously as Dipper flaunted his gift to the Corduroy girl. It was a bit of an acid test – a cool character like Wendy was not easily impressed by _anything_. How would she react to the little piece of vintage tourist trap souvenir? Was she going to be so…weird about it too?

“Huh. Cool.” Wendy went back to her magazine without another word.

Acid test passed. Pacifica wasn’t missing anything. Dipper was being weird.

“Cool? _Cool_?! Wendy, look at it!” Dipper replied “It’s awesome!”

“It’s the best snowglobe.” Mabel nodded sincerely. “The best. The _best_!”

“Dude, it’s just a slowglobe.” Wendy shrugged.

“The **_best_** snowglobe!” Mabel exclaimed with renewed vigour.

“It’s a pretty sweet snowglobe.” Stan chimed in, carrying all manner of harpoons, fishing floats and decorative nautical wall hangings through the shop. “Blondie bought it for him.”

“Sweet.” Wendy replied – her eyebrow still raised sceptically.

“And look, there’s Northwest manor, there’s the bridge, there’s the diner, it’s so cool-“

“Hey, look, I’m not sure I _like_ how excited you all are by a… _snowglobe_. Like, we sell sixteen of the things every day. What’s the deal?”

Dipper blinked, somewhat disheartened. “It’s just… neat.”

“It’s just a snowglobe, Dip. It’s sweet Paz bought it for you, but it’s… just a snowglobe. You’re being a… being a tiny bit weird about it, dude.”

Dipper’s brow furrowed – his tone began to change; his patience dropped. Suddenly, the more sensible Pines twin was beginning to act genuinely _offended_. “What’s wrong with you? Look at it!”

Wendy recoiled somewhat at the now, seemingly genuinely angry, teenager, holding the snowglobe towards her and glaring. “Huh?”

“This is the neatest thing I own and you’re just gonna act like it’s nothing?! Screw you, Wendy!”

“Dip, what the-“

“Yeah, Wendy!” Mabel snapped at her too! Mabel just snapped at _Wendy Corduroy_ like it was nothing! Mabel just got angry over _disrespect_ to a freaking _snowglobe_!

Pacifica blinked, mouth agape, as Dipper and Mabel stormed out of the gift shop and into the shack, shacking the door behind them.

Wendy stared blankly. “What was _that_ about?”

“I’m worried about them.” Pacifica said. “They’re… they’re acting really weird.”

“Over that.” Wendy replied, dumbfounded. “It’s a cheap old ornament-“

“Exactly!” Pacifica sighed. “I bought him it and he’s acting like it’s… it’s… some kind of bullion or something. Even Grunkle Stan said it was worth more than a couple of bucks! _Grunkle Stan_!”

Wendy gave a broad grin. “…You’re calling Stan _Grunkle_ now?”

“Not the time.”

“Gotcha. Do you think there’s something weird about it?”

“I mean… I dunno. A magic snowglobe?”

“Dude. I’ve fought a unicorn, a shapeshifter, a fast food joint and a triangle with a top hat since last year. A snowglobe would be a bit more mundane.”

Pacifica looked Wendy up and down and squirmed. “Do you…want to help me with it? I’m pretty sure something is going on.”

It still felt... awkward. To even ask, she meant. Like – Wendy had already proven herself as a pretty awesome friend. Sort of a big sister thing. She’d been on her side since they’d wrecked the Diner. Been on her side when Preston confronted her. Told her everything would be okay…

Wendy was one of the best friends, one of the best _people_ she had ever met. But Pacifica Northwest was still prone to holding grudges and overthinking. She wasn’t very... _good_ at letting things go.

Pacifica felt _envious_ of her. She felt worried – even _intimidated_ by the fact Dipper still – blatantly – thought of her so much.

She knew _personally_ how difficult it was to get over a crush. She’d spend most of the past autumn, winter and spring trying to get over hers for the dork in the cap. ( _And a brief spell ogling Robbie Valentino’s skintight jeans._ ) Could she, really, know that Dip wasn’t still spending half of their time together dreaming of the older, taller, more _mature_ redhead?

I mean, how did she know Wendy hadn’t gotten _into_ Dipper over the past six months? How did she know that there wasn’t some kind of, like, crazy plan to split them up and take the nerd?

And if Wendy thought she was out of his league, for that matter, what the hell was wrong with Dipper anyway? Her boyfriend wasn’t good enough? _How dare-_

Wendy stretched and put down her magazine. “I guess so. Wouldn’t be much of a friend if I let Dipper and Mabel get possessed by an ornament. What’s the plan?”

Pacifica snapped back into reality, opened her mouth to speak… then sighed in resignation.

“...I don’t know, Wendy. I’m not an adventurer. Do I look like an adventurer? Dipper or Ford are the ones with madcap plans. I mean, I’ve read the 3rd Journal but I don’t think _any_ of them cover, like… demon snowglobes.”

“Well, guess we’re on our own, Paz. I think we’ll have to try and get hold of the thing to have a look.”

“The stamp on it said CB Industries. Or factories. Or… some piece of junk.” Pacifica shrugged. Perhaps she should have listened a little bit more intently.

_But like… it was just a snowglobe._

“Boom! Time to get Goggling.” Wendy grinned, grabbing her phone. ...That wasn’t nearly as cool as either of them wanted it to sound. "Man, why can't they give search engines better names?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride.
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.
> 
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	7. Mission Implausible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The Goggle search was… enlightening, albeit not very useful. Apparently ‘CB Industries’ was a name used by about 600 companies across the world, and none of them the sort of company that manufactured snowglobes of small Oregon Towns with floating cliffs and a population of giant beavers.

_Figures._

“Well, Paz, it’s been three hours and so far our big discovery is that half of America is still owned by the mob. I don’t think magic snowglobes are their style. We’re gonna need to look at the thing properly.”

“Won’t be the easiest thing to get off of him.” Pacifica sighed, scratching her head. “He seems uh… pretty attached to it.”

“When do you think he’ll sleep?”

“Dipper? _Sleep_? That’s a pretty loaded question.”

“Well, do you think you could distract him? You know him better than anyone. Get his eyes _elsewhere_ , if you know what I mean.” Wendy beamed, giving Pacifica and a nudge and winking at her.

“Wendy! You- you can’t be serious!”

“I mean, you know Dipper. You know he can’t resist the Northwest charms, right? Just get him a bit flustered, distract him.”

“N-no, I couldn’t, I-“

“He’s a dude. It _always_ works.”

Pacifica’s face dropped, her cheeks flushing red. “F-fine. Let’s do it.”

Dipper was reading from one Ford’s stacks of **_Complete Scientific Revue_** from 1974 ( _The Mars Settlement of 2005 – Your Future Home!_ ) while eating chips, still chuntering over Wendy’s alleged misconduct as he flicked through the pages and pages of outdated information.

Pacifica strutted in confidently and sat herself beside him. “Hey, Dip.”

“Hey. Sorry I stormed off earlier. Just… the way Wendy acted… I thought better of her, y’know?”

“It’s okay, hon. I get it.” Pacifica lied, running her fingers through his hair.

The Pines twin looked into her eyes, smiling bashfully with his usual… anxiety. His usual problem of not really knowing what the hell he was meant to _do_ with a girlfriend.

“Now, look, I was wondering…” she smiled, resting against him, a vague attempt at a seductive purr in her voice.

“Y-yeah…?” The awkward Pines went red, his head swimming, wondering where all of this was going to lead to. This… this wasn’t going to get weird, right? Not that he thought she was weird, but-

Pacifica took a deep breath.

“…What do you think is being kept at Area 51?”

Dipper’s eyes widened. It was like he was being proposed to, or about to meet the Author all over again. The excitement, the loosening restraint – it was _palpable_.

“Area 51?”

“Yeah. Tell me about it.”

_Asking Dipper about Area 51 was like asking Mabel about glitter._

The flood gates burst forth as he grabbed six ridiculously large hardback books from his shelves and began assembling stammered, rushed theories of secret military aircraft, biological warfare and alien invasions. Pacifica listened intently with a smile on her face as Dipper unveiled just about every fact, statistic, mystery and oddity affiliated with her question, no matter how loosely.

_A piece of cake._

It wasn’t… _exactly_ Wendy’s plan, but hey, as she said, Pacifica knew Dipper better than practically anybody – excepting Mabel, who was seemingly under the Snowglobe’s control in much the same way – and, besides, had made herself busy knitting her latest and greatest creation.

(Nobody was really too sure if a sweater with macaroni pictures sewn into them would catch on, but it was an interesting idea regardless.)

Wendy watched from the doorway and slowly crept her way in as Dipper began unveiling his red-string conspiracy board for Area 51, how it connected with Gravity Falls and what the secret link may be with the US Government - all while Pacifica cautiously kept an eye on the lanky redhead, still nodding intently as if she had _every idea_ of what Dipper was talking about.

“But that’s just what they want you to think.” Dipper rambled on. “You see-“

It was almost embarrassingly easy. The Snowglobe was in Wendy’s hands within a second. She nipped out of the door sharpishly while Pacifica stayed with Dipper, looking over the charts, graphs, notes and pinboards he had arranged in front of them with a sort of… guilty enthusiasm.

There was nothing she found more endearing than seeing Dipper dive into his passion – _his passion that wasn’t Wendy, at least. Not that Pacifica was feeling the least bit bitter…._

It was forty minutes later when Dipper finally came to his conclusion.

“…And _that’s_ why I believe that the future American Presidential race is going to be organised between clones, created using alien technology from Area 51. Either that or TV celebrities.”

“Dip…”

“Yeah?” Dipper paused, putting down his laser pointer.

“I want you to know that… no matter what happens after this summer… I’ve never had a better time. Like, ever. It’s been amazing.”

“Heh. Well… me too. It’s nice having someone who doesn’t think I’m a geek or-“

“Oh, I think you’re a geek. I just… like it.” Pacifica shrugged and smiled. “Look, I just want you to know, Dip, if I ever do something that seems crazy or makes you angry or…whatever? I’m doing it to help. Even if you don’t realise it.”

Dipper cocked his head as his girlfriend sat in front of him, her hands resting on her legs, her eyes gazing into his. “I’d never be angry with you, Pacifica. As long as you don’t hurt my- _our_ family, you’re the best thing in my life right now.”

“Good.” Pacifica smiled. “I uh… I enjoyed your little… conspiracy talk.”

“Y’know… if you want to talk about it more, I’d like that a lot.”

“Sure thing, hon.” She smiled, throwing her arms around him and pecking him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later, okay? I gotta go do something.”

Dipper wore a dopey smile as he watched Pacifica leave the room. It barely even dawned on him that his precious snowglobe was missing.

Pacifica sighed – almost _wistfully_ \- as she stepped back into the shack’s gift shop, where Wendy had set up camp with a selection of snacks, pillows and her phone.

“Jeez Paz, took your time didn’t you?” Wendy smirked. “If you two were fooling around, Stan will have my head, you know that, right?”

“Oh shut up, Wendy!” Pacifica laughed. “You don’t know what he’s like when he starts talking about this stuff. He lives for it.”

“He lives for _you_.” Wendy grinned, nudging her in the arm. “He goes all doe eyed the moment he sees you. I don’t think any guy’s ever done that around me.”

“Dipper _still_ goes doe eyed for you.” Pacifica retorted. “I see it every single time.”

“That’s a crush. Not like… being in love with someone. He’ll get over it.” Wendy shrugged. “Besides, I think only _you_ would be able to distract him from this thing.”

Pacifica raised her eyebrows and smirked. “I guess I did pretty good, huh?”

“Northwest charms, dude. You’re gonna have that guy wrapped around your finger for life.”

The younger girl blushed and looked at the floor with a smile on her face – her hand adjusting her hair in her usual manner. “Do you… think we’ll last that long?”

“If you want to.” Wendy shrugged. “I think my longest relationship was about two weeks.”

Pacifica smiled. She… she was dumb to feel so reluctant about getting Wendy involved. Sure, she was worried about Dipper, but… She was also kind of enjoying herself. Wendy was so casual about everything, so utterly nonplussed, it was almost therapeutic to spend time with her instead of the… occasionally overwhelming Pines.

_After Summer –_ the thought flashed back into her head. _Maybe the Corduroys wouldn’t be a bad shout..._

Wendy held up the snowglobe and squinted at its base, looking for anything in the cheap felt that gave anything away – a secret compartment, or a keyhole or… something.

“I’m not sure if this thing has any secrets, dude. It just looks like any other cheap, tacky snowglobe. Do you have a hairpin or something?” She looked at Pacifica, who was already beginning to disassemble the pins that kept her famous fringe in one piece.

“What, you think my hair just levitated?” Pacifica smirked as her hair slumped over her face, holding out one of the golden pins to her.

“I kinda figured it was just witchcraft.” Wendy shrugged as she took it, still wearing her typically relaxed smile. “If you don’t understand it, it’s normally a witch or something.”

“What, you thought _I_ was a witch?”

“Meh. I didn’t think that far into it.”

Pacifica tried to watch – with little success - as the Corduroy girl gently tweaked and twisted the hairpin into the Snowglobe’s bottom, until, with a shallow click, a hatch came free and fell into her hand.

The base was hollow.

“Can you see anything in there?” Wendy asked.

“Not until I pin my hair back.” Grumbled the now half blind younger girl, fighting her blonde locks apart in a hope of catching a glimpse of what was going on. “Can you?”

“Yeah, I think s- …is that a _business card_?”

Pacifica blinked and sighed.

“…Great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	8. The Business Card

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

At the very least, the business card confirmed their concerns. It was, as it were, a cursed object – and not the sort Wendy was used to seeing on Geddit.

**_This cursed object is brought to you Curzon’s Curses!_  
Creepy Curses, Bewitchments and 2nd Hand Baseball Cards  
For Questions or Comments, Quote Curse #618816 when visiting us!  
The Crawlspace, Gravity Falls, OR**

****

The two girls stared at the card that Wendy had plucked from the strange little snowglobe. Pacifica’s eyes widened.

“Oh no. This is _bad_.”

“The _what_ space? It sounds like some sort of scene kid nightclub.” Wendy scoffed. 

“Wendy, you don’t get it, this is really bad.”

“What, are they going to hair dye us to death?”

“Me and Dipper have… been there before. It’s like…a weird monster market… place.”

Wendy was bewildered. It took a lot to bewilder a Corduroy, but an actual place of commerce for the town’s ghouls, goblins, gnomes and whatever else was a bit of a shocker.

_Figures_.

“A monster market. In town.”

“…Under the town.”

“And nobody knows about this?”

“It’s uh… kept under lock and key.”

Wendy held her head and grimaced. “And… you have a key? You have a key that can get us in to the literal freakin’ beast market, where people sell spells, curses-“

“And limbs.”

“And limbs. And limbs. Underneath the centre of town. And this… this is just a thing you and Dipper have seen. _How_ was this never mentioned, _how_ was this never brought up, and _why_ didn’t we go _there_ during Weirdmageddon?”

Pacifica blinked and shrugged. “Sorta felt like it was dealt with, I guess. I think it’s only… like, open during the day or something.”

“So we can’t even get in?”

“I mean…we can probably still get in, it’ll just be pretty quiet.”

“And where’s the key?”

“Uh… Dipper’s vest. It’s like… a key for any lock made in America. He got it from…”

She took a deep breath.

“The real life founder of Gravity Falls. Who’s also still alive. And completely insane. And technically still president.”

Wendy’s jaw dropped. “How long have you guys been holding out on me with this stuff?!”

“I mean I thought he’d tell _you_ , he was, like, in _love_ with you _forever_!”

Wendy held the bridge of her nose and sighed. Enough was enough. “If you want proof of how much he’s dedicated to you, Paz, take a look in the mirror – you think he’d share all of this stuff with anyone? Drop it, already! I get how you feel, Pacifica, but I’m not into him and I’m not some sort of rival. Okay?”

Pacifica shrunk back slightly and sighed. “I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Relax. Just… relax, alright? _I’m on your side_. All of us are, Pacifica, and you need to _remember_ that. I have been since last Summer and you know it. Stop worrying so much.”

“It’s just… hard.” Pacifica sighed. “I don’t want to lose all of…this.”

Wendy exhaled, calmed her frustration and gave a beleaguered smile - promptly giving the Northwest girl a tight hug. “You won’t. We’ll all make sure of that.”

Pacifica held onto her tightly – in a moment of almost complete vulnerability; something she was still getting used to permitting in front of others. “You’d be a great big sister, Wendy.”

“Tell that to my brothers.” The Corduroy chuckled. “Let’s go get that key.”

By now, it was growing dark, and the majority of the shack was completely and utterly silent, save the usual sounds of creaking floorboards and Mabel singing Sev’ral Timez hits at the top of her voice.

Stan had parked himself in his armchair as usual, completely lost to the world.

“Hey, toots.” He grinned over his fourth can of Pitt of the evening. “Mabel and I have been scouring that uh... that ebuyer place. There’s, like, a whole set of those snowglobes. Can you believe it?”

Pacifica froze. “You…haven’t bought another, right?”

“Na... I bought the entire _freakin’ set for fifty bucks_! We’ve got twenty of ‘em on the way!”

The two girls stared blankly. “You need to cancel that order. Like… now.”

“What, are you kidding me? I got ‘em for a song.”

“You don’t need twenty snowglobes, Stan.” Wendy sighed. “Cancel it.”

“No way, it’s my money. I like ‘em. There’s one with Nathaniel Northwest inside, and you know how much I _love_ that guy.”

The two girls stared blankly at the old man in his armchair. Stan was always a spontaneous, Impulsive sort – but when it came to spending money ( _even with the supposed treasure he and Ford had locked away in an off-shore bank account_ ), he wasn’t exactly prone to spending it on _anything_. Collectable or not.

With their revelation of Dipper’s sole, solitary trinket, it was a startling possibility to think what _twenty_ of the things would lead to.

The sooner they manage to get hold of this Curzon guy - whoever or whatever he was - the better.

As much as the idea of going back in there filled Pacifica with dread, she was not willing to lose her boyfriend, her grunkle-in-law or her sister-in-law to some kind of… some kind of snowglobe obsession.

…Future sister and grunkle in laws, she meant.

Pacifica grimaced and sighed. “O..okay. Well, we just need Dipper’s vest, I think he has… my phone in it.”

“Your phone’s in your hand, toots. What are you really stealing from him, huh?”

“We aren’t stealing anything!”

“Sure, sure. I won’t tell. It’s in the hallway, kids. Knock yourselves out. And get out of the way of the TV. Baby Fights is on in five.”

Pacifica smiled. “Hey, Stan?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re the best.”

Stan looked up and gave a warm grin. “Just get yourself moving, sweetheart. If you find that ten- uh- _fifty_ bucks Dipper owes me in that vest, hand ‘em over, huh? Ha!”

They were soon rifling through Dipper’s tatty blue vest in the hallway, sat on the bottom stair and getting increasingly frantic.

_Twenty_ snowglobes?! It was madness!

“Anything?”

“Is that a photo of me from last year!? Aww…“

“Paz! Stop getting distracted!”

“Right, right…”

Dipper had pretty damned big pockets. Besides the journal, there was a tiny black walking stick, an ancient candy bar, a bottle cap collection and a reporter’s notepad – and, at the bottom, halfway into the lining, the President’s key – every bit as old and tarnished as it had been when she last saw it.

She held it triumphantly ( _with a little hair flick for good measure._ ) “Hey Wendy, do you think you can drive the golf cart at night?”

“Do I look like I’d care if I can or not?” Wendy grinned. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	9. Curzon's Curses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The golf cart thundered down the highway with the two girls, Pacifica clutching the snowglobe carefully as they rattled into town. It was dark, and save the occasional giggle of a gnome or a beaver chewing a road sign, the town was practically deserted.

Pacifica shuddered at the sight of No.13, Geron street. The inconspicuous entrance to the Crawlspace she had been last year with Dipper, chasing after some creep with a golden tooth who had decided to steal Mabel’s face.

Technically her fault. She still kind of cringed when she thought of it.

Oh yes - Pacifica remembered that horrible, fleshy tunnel all too well, and wasn’t, in all, particularly enamoured with the idea of returning to it. The smell of musk and halitosis, the moisture dripping from the ‘ceiling’… ugh.

She looked down at the snowglobe in her hands and sighed.

Maybe it wasn’t _that_ bad. Like, sure, it was a bit weird to have a family obsessed with snowglobes, but…at least we shouldn’t have to _smell_ that place again. Maybe she was overreacting.

Maybe it wasn’t even a curse, maybe it was just a really great collectable and they’d missed something!

She glanced at the cheap piece of tat in her hands, a yellowed air bubble travelling sluggishly through the filthy water inside it.

Yeah. _Right_.

Wendy snatched the key from her. “What are we waiting for?”

“Wendy, trust me, you do not want to rush into that doorway.”

“What, are there spiders? It’ll be fine, dude.” Wendy replied, turning the President’s key in the handle. “After this, you wanna break into the arcade or something?”

The door creaked open – and there it was.

A breathing, pulsating mass of writhing flesh – coated in saliva and hot, musky breath that smelt stale and foisty. It gurgled and coughed, sending strands of saliva flying onto the pavement before them.

Pacifica shuddered.

It was every bit as horrific as it had been last time.

Wendy stepped back, her eyes wide. She was pretty sure this topped the majority of what she had seen in the town. She was pretty sure seeing this would stick with her for the rest of her life. “What the…”

“Messed up, right?”

The throat burped up a live squirrel as they stared.

“…You say there’s more entrances, right? Can we find ‘em?”

“Not before twenty snowglobes arrive at the shack.” Pacifica cringed. “We just have to… go ahead, I think.”

“And it _isn’t_ going to eat us?”

“Didn’t last time.” Pacifica shrugged.

“I am already _so_ done with this place.”

“Tell me about it.” Pacifica sighed, crossing her arms and taking a deep breath before jumping in. “This town is the absolute worst sometimes.”

The two landed in the near-deserted plaza of The Crawlspace market – stalls having been already taken down, and street sellers having returned to their caves and…whatever else passed as a home for them.

The cobbled street looked strangely idyllic and charming after hours – the foundations and arches of the town above creating an almost European flavour, like the Parisian Catacombs – if they were covered in posters and supernatural hoardings, of course.

The smell of damp and the sound of running water infested the subterranean village as the two girls stepped quietly down the street – eager not to raise any alarm if they could help it. It was a stark contrast to the cluttered, bustling area that Pacifica had hidden from in the past.

Perhaps due to the lack of crows in top hats and women riding on giant hands.

That _will_ generally make things feel a bit safer.

“Jeez…” whispered Wendy, her eyes darting across the place. “This is crazy, even for Gravity Falls...”

“Tell me about it.” The younger girl sighed – but even she had to admit it was a lot nicer down here without the thousands of beasts strolling around haggling about the price of limbs.

“So… any idea where this Curzon dude is?”

“Oh yeah, Wendy, let me just look in my little black book.” Pacifica snarked. “…Sorry. It’s uh… a bit of a rough day.”

“Relax, it was funny. Do we just go door to door or something?”

“They don’t tend to like humans down here.” Pacifica winced. “Might wanna… y’know, think about this first.”

They looked around the deserted plaza – where only a stomach faced duck betrayed the reality of the place and its odd, supernatural aura. A faint breeze flew past them, the sound of distant footsteps and that bizarre mutant mallard being the only signs of life.

Pacifica shuffled a little closer to Wendy.

She missed Dipper. Right now, she missed Dipper a _lot_. Wendy was great, but Dipper knew and understood this stuff. This was just… this wasn’t how she wanted to spend her night.

She’d prefer if it had been a scene kid nightclub. She guessed that sort of place would just stink of vodka and hairspray.

Wendy looked at the business card. “Curzon’s curses…”

There was a pause as a small wooden door, underneath one of the bazaar’s many staircases, slowly creaked open – the smell of aniseed flooded into their nostrils – a strange, warm, bewitching smell of herbs and cloves that was strangely alluring – yet intimidating and unworldly.

A pair of smoking, black tendrils slipped from the pitch black cavern behind the doorway, a pair of white, hollow eyes and a wide, glistening grin – with far too many teeth – fading into view.

“You called, darlin’…?” came the unmistakably cockney accent, in a sizzling, throaty hiss that seemed to constantly mock and belittle with every word, every syllable, every moment.

A red carpet rolled out before him, carrying an array of shrunken heads, parchments and pearls – along with an album of baseball cards, delicately arranged in a selection of plastic wallets.

“Curzon. Curzon Cankerblight. At yer service.” The voice droned. “How can I help ya, me ladies…? I ‘ave a bunch of fresh bewitchments on special offer – get the man of yer dreams, permanent beauty, uh…cute ducklings. Wotever ladies are into, ey?”

“I already wanted to slap this dude.” Wendy mumbled.

“I don’t ‘ave all day, ladies – only six millennia. HAW!” The darkness continued. “P’raps yer into baseball cards? P’raps yer want to kill an ex boyfriend. P’raps yer just want to ‘ave a cup of rosie lee, ey?”

“Why are so many people down here British?” Pacifica asked, before slapping her hands over her mouth. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to-“

“HAW HAW HAW!” the dim tendril limbs of the unseen creature thrived as he laughed. “I like you, darlin’. Yer good with me. ‘Aven’t the foggiest.”

Wendy squirmed, flicking the business card in her hands.

“Is that one of me business cards? I got twenty thousand of ‘em printed in the 50s and I’m still gettin’ through the sods. Wot’s yer poison, luvvy?”

“We’re here about curse 618816.” Wendy replied, hesitantly - still somewhat weirded out by what appeared to be a cave filled with bizarrely toothy smoke.

“Curse 618816… mmm. Give me a minute, torch hair, I’ll go scour through me archives… can I get yer a cup of tea? Coffee? Milk? Blood?”

“Uh… no, thanks.” Pacifica replied. “We uh… we don’t exactly belong here, if you catch my drift. If you could be quick about it-“

“Humans are allowed at me stall, no bovver. Business is business, ey? Just hold yer ‘orses.”

“…Orses? What’s an orse?”

“Blummee, y’know, the trottin’ ‘orses, ‘orse ‘air, ‘orse racin’.”

“…Okay.” Pacifica raised an eyebrow as the creature faded back into the darkness, accompanied by a strange pittering of feet – betraying that somewhere in there, there _had_ to be some kind of limbs or… or _something_.

“Well…he seems friendly enough.” Wendy mumbled.

“He speaks weird and hasn’t got any pupils, Wendy. Let’s not get too attached in case he tries to murder us.”

The voice echoed from the back of the cavern, out of view and refrained by the sound of rustling papers and what sounded like a filing cabinet.

“618816, bloody hell, it’s an old one, luvs… mm, good one too, I remember, right, gimme a min-“

The voice pittered back towards them, an inky black tendril holding a folder that looked suspiciously like a police report.

“618816. Gotcha.”

“We want to know what’s going on with these.” Pacifica said, holding up the snowglobe to Curzon’s milky, white eyes.

“Blimey.” The creature beamed, one of his smoking tendrils stretching out from the cavern and wrapping around the ornament. “Can’t be many of these left out there, luv.”

The tendril gave a cold, damp aura that coated Pacifica’s hand in a thin layer of fennel scented condensation. She stared at it and wiped it against her jacket cautiously as the tendril held the little trinket in front of Curzon’s eyes, analysing it like a jeweller would gaze upon a ruby.

“CB, wasn’t it?” Curzon hissed.

“We think so.”

“Aye, I remember ‘im – old CB. Big bushy beard. Calves like the back end of a bull. He was the one who ordered the things, y’know? Supplied the snowglobes, the printer paper, the biscuits – sorry, that’s cookies for you yanks, innit?”

Wendy was trying her hardest not to crack up at the fact the shadow creature sounded like something out of **_Harry Dotter_** and trying to focus on understanding him. It was proving a bit difficult to follow the conversation.

Pacifica remained steadfast. “Look, we need to know what this curse _does_. My family is being affected by it-“

“Naw, luv. Won’t be. You’d be affected by it too if yer family is, it goes by bloodline, y’see. These things ‘ave a tourist only policy. Only affects out of towners.”

“They aren’t… they aren’t my real family.”

“Then it doesn’t bleedin’ matter, does it? No ‘air from yer ‘ead.”

Pacifica paused. “It _does_ matter. Please, Mr. Cankerblight, just… explain, okay?”

“Right, right, so, this bloke CB, yeah? He was doing bad fer business, so ‘e comes to me, and he’s like, _Oi, Curzon,_ yeah? _How do I flog these things_?”

“And the curse?”

“Not really a curse, more a little parlour trick, luvvy.” Curzon chuckled. “All these snowglobes are _irresistible_ to out of towners – all of the tourists come in, right, and buy the stuff. But they get ‘em home, and they want more of ‘em. They obsess over ‘em, buy the lot, keep ‘em on their shelves.”

“That’s it?”

“Well, it’s a bit of an ‘ow long’s a piece of string thingy, isn’t it? CB, He was a bit ruthless, he didn’t really put a cap on ‘is spell.”

A large cigar suddenly popped out of Curzon’s mouth, fully lit. The creature smoked as he regaled the two girls with his little story.

“These snowglobes, right, they’ll turn into a life’s passion. Heard some right horror stories, I ‘ave. They’ll get in the way of people’s careers, their families, their love lives… tears ‘em apart after a while. Start fighting eachother for ‘em, might even murder eachother if they ‘ave to. Did the same thing with those **_Teanie Babies_** back in the 90s.”

Pacifica cringed. “So…they just… forget everything else?”

“Might as well do, luvvy. Just buy more of these ‘orrid little things. The bloke, CB, he sold hundreds of ‘em – by the time he realised how nasty his little spell could be, he tried to argue with me – but he didn’t want to drop the profits. Fancy that, eh?”

The creature cackled to himself. Even in the form of casual laughter, it sounded demeaning and evil. The two girls stepped back. It was… difficult not to be intimidated, no matter how amiable Curzon seemed to be towards them.

“So I tolds him, I said, _CB, It’s all or nuffin, it’s out of me ‘ands once the curse is in place_ , yeah? He stormed off. Didn’t want to cancel the spell, didn’t want to let it continue. Lummee, he was an odd one.”

The creature puffed a perfect smoke ring and grinned.

“So that’s it, these things just create these obsessions. Collectathons. I made a similar contract for these cheap action figures with ‘eads shaped like loafs of bread recently. It’s dangerous, but not because it’s an evil spell, it’s just up to th’ customer to clarify.”

He took another deep inhale of his cigar and grinned, apparently content with his summary. The two teenagers shifted uncomfortably on their feet, staring at the diminutive smoke beast in his doorway.

“So… can you take the curse off…?” Pacifica ventured, finally.

“Sure I can, luv. No bother.”

“Oh, thank God! Thank you!” Pacifica sighed in relief. “Can you take it off now?”

“I mean, sure thing. Get ‘im down here.”

The two girls blinked.

“Who?” Wendy finally piped in, still trying to process _everything_.

“CB, Obviously. I need the co-signee, luv. I’m a respectable businessman.”

Pacifica glanced at Wendy, then back at the doorway. “But I mean… he’s probably dead, it’s been _sixty years_.”

“Then get his son, his grandson, whoever’s tied by blood. Next of kin.”

“But… but we don’t know who he is!”

“Well, it’s a bit confidential, yeah? I feel for yer situation, but like… I can’t give you ‘is name. Privacy policy and all that. I wish I could be more helpful, you seem like nice lasses, but…”

Pacifica sighed and slipped out her purse. “How much will it cost?”

Curzon looked at her purse and smirked. “…Alright. I get yer drift. The guy ran a biker themed tourist trap on high street up top, yeah? Sort of a rockabilly diner place. That I can tell you. Tacky as all hell, covered in pumas, panthers, all that stuff.”

The two grinned. That was enough to _substantially_ narrow it down.

“You’re alright, Curzon.” Wendy grinned. “Thanks.”

Pacifica sighed in relief. “Yeah. You’re probably the most agreeable person we’ve met down here. So, how much?”

“Buy a baseball card and we’re even.” Curzon smiled. “I’ve got a Roberto Clemente, half price to you two luvverly ladies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	10. Dreamcatchers and Airbrush Pumas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

By the time the girls had left the market – and finding an exit from the place _without_ a breathing throat-tunnel wasn’t the easiest endeavour - it was getting evermore close to midnight.

The two returned to Geron street – still deserted, now in near pitch black darkness.

It felt less inviting than ever; strange, unfamiliar and cold, with a biting chill in the air.

It woke them up – brought clarification to their minds. But they were all too aware they had work ahead of them.

Newly armed with information, and a Roberto Clemente baseball card, it was obvious who their next step in the mystery was; the question was how much they wanted to keep _pursuing_ the entire thing so late in the evening.

It was only Pacifica’s sheer determination that won out. She was happy to hear the curse wasn’t strictly harmful, of course, but the other information they had been given – the idea of it ruining Dipper’s life, the idea of it becoming his only goal, his life’s obsession – it had shaken her.

_She_ wanted to be his life. Not the damned snowglobe. That wasn’t selfish, that was… that was just how it was meant to _work_!

She climbed back into the golf cart and looked at the little snowglobe again furiously. “We need to go see Cutebiker. Now.”

“It’s eleven, Paz. I’m not sure if Cutebiker’s going to be taking visitors.”

“Then we’ll force him to.” Pacifica retorted. “I’m not letting these things go on any longer than they have to. If there’s going to be a crate of them turning up, I want them to be _harmless_ before any of the family lays an eye on them. I’ll _kick down the door_ if I have to.”

Wendy gave a wide grin. “Jeez, never thought I’d see you taking charge like this. Determined for the Dip, huh?”

“Just get in.” Pacifica snapped. “I’ll drive.”

“You’re the boss.” Wendy beamed, sitting back with her feet on the dashboard.

Pacifica treated the golf cart like it was a go-kart. The thing flew through town with no concern for the infamous Gravity Falls street litter as she thundered towards Tyler Cutebiker’s mayoral mansion – in reality nothing more than a slightly larger suburban house at the top of Ariel Avenue.

“Paz, I think you just hit a gnome.”

“He’ll live.”

“ ** _Shmebuloooooock_**!”

Finally, with a surprisingly deft handbrake turn, Pacifica parked up in the yard – promptly blowing a gasket underneath the golf cart’s hood, smoke billowing from underneath it as the buggy seemingly gave up the ghost.

Not that it hadn’t been a long time coming - pretty impressive as a finale, though.

Wendy opened the hood to try and get rid of the smoke and duct tape the damage, while Pacifica steeled herself. She grabbed the snowglobe and stormed towards Tyler’s door, jabbing the intercom with one of her finely manicured fingers and taking a deep breath.

It struck Pacifica somewhat how ridiculous it was to treat the little man as some kind of intimidating prospect. Tyler Cuterbiker was effectively one of the least offensive people in the entire town. The scariest thing about him was his short shorts.

Wendy watched her with a proud smile on her face. This was proving to be an absolute riot. Pacifica was proving to be pretty damned cool.

“Hello…?” came the familiar, gentle voice on the other side.

“Mayor Cutebiker, we need to talk.”

“Miss Northwest? I’d – I’d love to, but it’s very late-“

“It’s about snowglobes.”

There was a pause and a nervous giggle. “S-snowglobes I- I don’t know what you’re talking about, I-“

“Open. The door.” Pacifica snapped. “My family are in danger.”

Tyler answered the door in his dressing gown, wearing a towel on his head, holding a cup of peppermint tea in his hand. “Preston Northwest has a snowglobe?”

Pacifica slapped her forehead and groaned. “No. Dipper Pines has a snowglobe.”

She held up the sinister ornament and glared at the town’s mayor as if he was a prime suspect. Perhaps it was just her temper getting the better of her; she _had_ just spent fifty bucks on a baseball card.

Tyler stepped back, his eyes wide and fearful.

“I… I never thought I’d see one of those again… where did you get it?”

“Dipper got it. From the thrift store.”

Mayor Cuterbiker blinked and swallowed hard. “Oh _no_.”

The town’s most beloved mayor guided Pacifica into his living room. It was just about what Pacifica expected; a range of garish airbrush paintings of wolves, pumas and panthers, copious amounts of dream catchers scattered around the room and highway signs fixed onto the walls.

It was just about as cheesy and tacky as his short shorts and cowboy boots.

Pacifica might have been putting effort into being less critical, but _come on._

A short retelling of the events so far followed – with Tyler listening intently with his peppermint tea. By the end of the story, his hand was beginning to shake, rattling the little cup on its saucer.

He looked up at the portrait of his grandfather – far larger, better built and more intimidating than Tyler’s slight frame. More akin, in many ways, to the likes of Manly Dan Corduroy. The glare in the portrait’s eyes betrayed the alleged determination that led to the curse in the first place.

“I never thought they’d turn up again. I always just… thought it had been dealt with.”

“We need you to deal with it, Mr. Mayor.” Pacifica replied, sharply. “It’s already going too far. Stan has a full crate of the things arriving tomorrow.”

“There’s… there’s more?”

“Lots more.” Wendy piped in, cleaning her oil covered hands with a rag as she tracked mud into the living room.

Tyler watched his lovely clean carpet being ruined with concern, but decided not to say anything about the faux pas.

“Well I- we need to get rid of all of them.” Tyler stammered. “We should be trying to fix all of them, not just that one.”

“We only need you to cancel the curse, Tyler.” Wendy replied, trying to pick a piece of golf cart out of her nails.

“Don’t you get it?! If every one of them has a business card and they decide to investigate like you two did?”

Pacifica blinked. “They could find out about The Crawlspace.”

“And my family’s secret shame.” Tyler mumbled.

“And Curzon.” Wendy grimaced. “That guy is friendly, but he’s creepy as hell…”

Tyler took a deep breath, trying to calm his already frittered nerves. “It’s a clear breach of _The Never Mind All That_ Act. These things could be travelling across America. If people decide to seek it out, surely, eventually, one of them is going to discover this town is a tad… strange.”

“Diiiiiid somebody say my name?”

“Not now, Tad.”

The man in the shirt and tie slowly backed away from the window.

“We need to get rid of those snowglobes, girls. All of them. As many as we can.” 

Pacifica squirmed and began to look distinctly uneasy. She wasn’t really expecting to go on some kind of collector’s hunt. Her only interest was in keeping Dipper and Mabel safe, not picking up more of the damned things. She just wanted _that_ snowglobe fixed.

This wasn’t how these things were meant to happen; she could save the family in a video game, but _this_? She wasn’t the one who goes on quests to save people, she isn’t the sort who decides to go on a collectathon for the greater good, and she wasn’t the sort to dive into living flesh tunnels that led to black markets.

This was beginning to worry her. The fact it was so dark out and she didn’t even have Dipper to hold onto was not helping.

She held her head in her hands and took a deep breath. This was weird, this was freaky, this was way outside what she wanted to be involved in and now there was a mission to collect snowglobes.

It was like some sort of twisted video game.

“This… is a little bit more of an adventure than I was banking on.” Pacifica gulped.

“Then you need to think more like Dipper.” Wendy smiled. “Be the hero, Pacifica.”

“I’m _not_ the hero. I’m the hero’s _girlfriend_.”

“Then change that.” The Corduroy replied, slapping Pacifica’s back – perhaps a little bit too hard. 

Pacifica flinched and rubbed her back, looking up at Wendy with a frown on her face. “What do you mean, change that?”

“If the entire Pines family is unable to help, that only leaves one Pines left. The only one who’s _not_ from out of town? Let’s get to it, man!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	11. The Mad Shack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

Things were markedly more peaceful back at the Shack, even if it was basically ground zero for Snowglobe-crazy central.

Waddles knew something was wrong. He may be a pig, but he could tell his owner wasn’t acting right. The chunky creature cocked his head as Mabel put down her new sweatshirt project and stared blankly at the wall.

He tried to come closer for a head rub (or at least a pat) – but instead got pushed back, much to his porky dismay.

Mabel held her temples as a seemingly overwhelming thought process took over her.

She wanted to see that snowglobe again. In fact, she needed to see that snowglobe again. She couldn’t express why, per se, but that snowglobe brought happiness. It brought joy and comfort to her.

She was sitting here knitting some dumb jumper? That’s crazy. She should be looking at that snowglobe.

The idea of stupid things like knitting or spending time with her dumb pig? That’s _crazy_. She should be with that snowglobe.

That snowglobe, that amazing little trinket is all she needed to be happy.

She couldn’t wait for more of them to turn up tomorrow.

She _needed_ those ornaments. One of them had an oversized statue of Nathaniel Northwest, and she _loved_ that man. She knew she needed that snowglobe in particular. It was obviously the best one. It had the town’s founder in it! The only town founder she’d ever heard of or cared about. It was of no consequence to the Snowglobe thought process that it was fraudulent – the Northwest coverup was still well and truly unknown in the mid 60s.

No, to Mabel Pines, despite all of her knowledge to the contrary, Nathaniel Northwest was the real deal.

Just like those ornaments.

Yes sir-ee, those snowglobes? They were a _proper_ hobby for her.

She ran towards the staircase, her clouded mind refusing to even _consider_ the idea of _not_ doing the thing she was doing. Not that that was particularly unusual for Mabel.

It was more the fact that her latest obsession just didn’t make very much sense.

Or… less sense than usual.

Waddles watched in dismay as she ran out of the room.

“Hey, Brobro!”

“Not now, Mabel. This is serious.”

Dipper was diving through his drawers and cupboards, throwing clothes and small objects across the room with no care as to their importance. His face was pale, panic struck – his hands shaking. His forehead _unusually_ sweaty. 

“What? What is it?”

“The snowglobe is gone.”

“What?!”

“It’s gone, Mabel. I can’t find it. It’s not here!”

“What have you _done_ with it?!”

“I dunno! I- It was here just a few moments ago and now-“ Dipper held his head in his hands, feeling utterly distraught over the loss of his precious snowglobe.

It was Soos who broke the solace, still bedecked in his beloved fez and suit, carrying a little shopping back in his hand. It had become second nature for Soos to visit flea markets and garage sales for just about anything strange or weird – it was a cheap way to improve exhibits. A strange piece of wildlife could be improved substantially by sticking a zebra leg on there.

Gravity Falls was exactly the sort of place where people had that kind of stuff to sell; it was easy pickings – the sort that only honestly surprised him that Stan had never really taken advantage of.

An extra ten dollars’ admission worth of freak show nonsense, for a couple of cents? Too good to be true!

This time, he’d picked up something he knew the kids would love. He leaned into Dipper’s room with his typical inane smile on his face. “Hey dudes. Check what I found!” he beamed, holding up a familiar old snowglobe triumphantly. “I got it from a-“

The two frenzied kids whipped their heads around to him with jaws agape and brows furrowed. Soos quickly broke off his sentence and gulped. “You uh… you okay, dudes?”

“Thief!!” Mabel gasped, pointing at the larger man in a scandalised tone. “How could you?!”

“Soos! I’d never think you’d stoop so low, man!” Dipper snapped. “I’ll kill you!”

“Whoa, dudes, what’s uh… what’s going on here?”

The two twins stormed towards him furiously – Soos backing up with his hands outstretched.

“Should I, like, call Mr. Pines or something?”

“Good idea.” Dipper spat back, his eyes glaring and his shoulders out in a somewhat laughable impression of a power stance.

“Grunkle Stan! Soos stole the snowglobe from us!”

“He **_what_**?! Let me get my brass knuckles…”

Soos’s eyes widened as Dipper ran towards him with his fists raised and began planted a firm – _firm for Dipper_ – punch in his side, howling at the top of his voice in _pure anger_. 

The family had gone nuts. He briefly considered running into one of the trailers, to be with Melody and Abuelita, but right now, he felt like he needed help. He tried to keep his family away from the weirdness as much as he could – tried to enforce to them that the Mystery Shack was all mythos, all a fictional story of oddity and bizarre…

It didn’t work, of course, but he tried.

No, this wasn’t a Melody or Abuelita problem. This was a needing help problem. This was a Pines Mystery problem.

_Big time._

He had to find the only people in town he knew who were as cool – and as brave – as the Pines themselves. He ran out to his pick up truck (after dropping his keys on the floor three times) and sped off as quickly as he could. If he was quick, he might at least be able to pick up a dozen donuts on the way.

Priorities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working as a writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Who knew, right?
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.
> 
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	12. Shattered Glass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread. 
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

Tyler had heard rumours, of course. Everybody had heard rumours of there being a secret entrance to the underworld. But he had never really been too sure where the Crawlspace was. By the time he had gotten to 13 Geron Street with the two young women who had managed to uncover the CB Conspiracy, he was no less confused. Why was it not in town record? Where the planning permission documents? For that matter, why didn’t he know about anything in this freaky little town?

Had Befufftlefumpter known about all of this stuff?

At this point he wouldn’t be surprised if there was a _live nuclear silo_ in the cliffs that he’d never known about.

He briefly considered if that was actually worth checking up on.

Surely even for Gravity Falls that would be… extreme.

“Now look, when we open this door, don’t freak out…” Pacifica tried to calm Tyler, desperately, as she lifted the key towards the door. “The uh… hallway is a bit weird.”

“Weird how?” Tyler asked, hesitantly, eyeing the wood panel door that seemed so innocent and inconspicuous. His leg was shaking somewhat as a result of the night’s anxieties already; he wasn’t particularly keen on the idea of a ‘weird hallway’.

“Fleshy, breathing, drool covered… tends to cough up squirrels. Plenty of ways, dude.” Wendy grinned. “It’d be awesome if it wasn’t freaky as heck.”

Tyler raised an eyebrow. “What.”

“Y-yeah, it’s… uh… it’s an odd place.” Pacifica added.

“A really weird place.” Wendy nodded, sincerely. “One of the strangest, maybe.”

“Maybe.”

Tyler took a deep breath. “Well, look, I’m the only responsible adult here, it’s probably about time I took charge-“

“Dudes! Dudes!” Came a familiar voice from the window of a battered pickup truck.

Soos – still in his Mr. Mystery attire (Pacifica briefly wondered if he ever took the damned outfit off.) sped to the kerb and braked hard, immediately falling out of the door.

Pacifica and Wendy watched him silently as he climbed to his feet and tried to get his breath. How a man gets out of breath from driving was another question entirely. Perhaps a symptom of a 90% nacho diet.

“The family’s gone crazy, dudes!”

“Do you mean… crazy _crazy_ , or Pines crazy?” Pacifica snarked, rolling her eyes.

“I mean _genuine_ crazy. Dipper tried to punch me, dude. _Punch me in the kidney_! Hard enough so it tickled, girl-bro! It _tickled_!” Soos replied, frantically.

It was pretty serious business if Dipper hit anyone, especially with _enough force to tickle_. In fact, it was a bit of a shock to see Dipper use any kind of muscular force in his little noodle arms.

Pacifica was sceptical. “What did _you_ do?”

“I brought home a snowglobe somebody sold me at a flea market, dude, and Dipper acted like I’ve stolen it from him! I’ve never seen him so angry, dog – it was like he was a completely different person!”

Pacifica took a step back. Now she was seriously freaking out. Dipper? Dipper hitting Soos? Dipper hitting someone? The ornament was driving him _insane_ , just as Curzon had said! This wasn’t rational, this wasn’t _normal! This was – oh jeez, this was crazy-_

“You have one of the snowglobes?” Tyler asked. “Where from?!”

“I just told you, a flea market, bro. It cost like 50 cents.”

Pacifica glared at the snowglobe sitting on Soos’s dashboard. “Why would _you_ buy one of the snowglobes, Soos? You were _born here_.”

It only occurred briefly to her that, for someone uninitiated, this probably seemed more bizarre a statement than the fact that Dipper had just attempted to punch one of his best friends. Thankfully, this was Soos – a man who asked few questions and required little logic to answer a question.

“Dude, why _wouldn’t_ I buy a snowglobe? It’s an ornament and a weather event all in one. They’re the _ultimate_ gift shop merchandise.”

“So you _don’t_ think it’s the best thing ever?”

“Na dude, desert tacos are the best thing ever.”

“Alright, he’s clear.” Pacifica beamed, acting as if she’d just carried out a sincere interrogation. “We’d better get to The Crawlspace before something else crazy happens.”

“Probably a good time to tell you guys that the family’s chasing me like a group of zombies. Snowglobe zombies. _Crazy_ snowglobe zombies.”

Wendy stared blankly at her boss. “Soos. Seriously?”

“Look, Wendy, this is clearly a need to know basis. I answered what you asked me, dude.”

“There’s no way the Pines family would attack us over snowglobes. No way.” Tyler protested.

“Should probably also warn you dudes that Stan has his brass knuckles.”

The four of them backed up towards the door of Geron street almost subconsciously as Stan’s convertible rolled towards them slowly.

Stan was the first to climb out, baseball bat in hand. “You need ta bring that thing back, Soos.”

“I didn’t steal it, Mr. Pines!”

“Sure, sure. I spent fifty bucks on the rest of the set, Soos. You aren’t ruining this for me.”

“And it’s _my_ snowglobe.” Dipper snapped. “I can’t believe you, Soos!”

“It’s not your snowglobe, dude!”

Mabel promptly ran screaming into Soos’s hand, being kept at arm’s length as she threw punch after punch towards his direction.

“Okay, okay, I’m beginning to realise these snowglobes are a bit freaky.” Wendy mumbled.

“Pacifica, open the door.” Tyler stammered. “I don’t need Stan Pines’ fist in my face today.”

“Th-this is ridiculous!” Pacifica snapped – with a quiver of fear in her voice. “I- I don’t have to run away from Dipper, he loves me!”

She stared as Dipper stormed towards Soos like a man possessed. If she wasn’t freaking out, she’d find it pretty impressive to see him trying to _confront_ somebody.

“Dipper. Listen to me.”

“Not now, Pacifica.”

“Dipper! Listen to me! **_Now_**!”

Even a snowglobe-mad Dipper couldn’t ignore Pacifica at her firmest. He promptly turned his head to face her – and stared, eyes wide as she lifted his beloved snowglobe above her head, staring into his eyes furiously.

“Soos didn’t steal your snowglobe. I did.”

“Hand it over, Pacifica.” Mabel spat, furiously. “We’ll _kill_ you if you harm a single flake of beautiful paint on that ornament! It’s hand painted! _Hand painted_!”

Pacifica's eyes darted between the two siblings. “No. Dipper, you told me you’d never be angry with me. As long as I don’t hurt our family.”

“So?!”

“So I need you to know that no matter how crazy this seems, or how angry this makes you, this is to help you.”

“Pacifica – don’t- **_Don’t_**!”

Dipper yelled out loud as the snowglobe was thrown to the floor and shattered at their feet.

Thickened yellow water and polystyrene snow flowed from the shrapnel of glass and poorly painted resin. The floating cliffs laid upon the floor, the bridge broken between them.

The base was in pieces.

The cheap ornament was no more; shattered. Every bit as worthless as it had been – but no longer fit to carry an obsessive’s attention.

Mabel screamed. Stan looked away, his hands tightening around the baseball bat. Dipper stared at Pacifica in complete and utter betrayal.

Things fell silent.

Pacifica held her ground, steadfast – hands clenched into fists over the wreckage of the little trinket as if she had committed an atrocity. Unaware of how her boyfriend – or what was left of her boyfriend – would react. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t fearful of what he might say; what he might do. The entire family stared at her in a disdain that felt all too familiar. It was piercing – like a sharp blade into her chest – to see them looking at her so _hatefully_.

_It was like she was a Northwest again._

“How could you, Pacifica?” Dipper said, almost without emotion. “After everything we’ve done for you.”

“We should have known not to trust you.” Mabel snapped.

“I feel like an utter schmuck even letting you into our home.” Stan added.

“I should have known better than to ever love you.” Dipper sighed. “How did you manage to fool me into thinking you were different?”

Pacifica knew, of course, that this wasn’t the Pines family she knew. She knew better than to take it to heart – knew better than believing those horrible words from those who loved her.

But it hurt.

It hurt and it hit her hard.

She tried to speak, but she couldn’t. Pacifica was left almost paralysed, fighting off the tears and trying to rationalise what she had just been told.

Wendy was no less shocked – no less shaken by the behaviour from the family. She grimaced and put an arm around her surrogate sister’s shoulders.

“We have to go through with this, Paz.” She mumbled, plucking the key from the younger girl’s hand.

“I don’t know if I-“

“I know you can. Follow me. Curzon will help us.”

“I can’t believe we’re placing our trust in a guy with smoke limbs and no nose.” Pacifica sniffled.

Wendy smirked as she tinkered with the old lock. “Won’t be for long, dude.”

“Open the door. Open the door. Open the door!” Tyler shouted, growing increasingly uncertain as Stan drew closer. This was not a get’em situation. _This was a get out situation._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working as a writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Who knew, right?
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.
> 
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	13. Angus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The door was flung open and the entire group plunged inside without hesitation - as well placed as any hesitation would be. Soos followed as quickly as he could, narrowly escaping the wrath of Mabel, and shutting the door behind them (after making sure he at least had a couple of donuts in his pocket).

_ Priorities. _

The rabid Pines family hammered at the door with inarticulate shouting, trying to break the doorway to No.13 off of its hinges and get at the group - all over a little resin and glass trinket that had managed to create such an obsession.

Pacifica tried desperately to silence those little voices that were nagging away inside her head; reawakened by the clouded minds of those she loved most.

What if, deep inside, they had all just told her how they really felt about her?

What if she couldn’t fix things? What if her family were lost forever? What then?

She tried to fight back her emotions and just… couldn’t. She was  _ scared  _ . Could it be that this was it? That it was all over? 

No, no, it couldn’t be – she – she was giving too much credence to a family possessed. Like –  _ practically  _ possessed.

By a demon snowglobe.

_ God, she hated this. _

The fleshy tunnel seemed to squelch and pulsate as they fell towards The Crawlspace’s Plaza.

It took only a moment for Tyler to realise what was going on and start freaking out.

“Ew! Ew! Ew! This is not happening, this is  _ not  _ happening!”

“Sorry dude, do you not like pecans? Have an original glazed.”

“We’re in the middle of a living, breathing tunnel and you’re eating donuts?”

“I get hungry when I’m anxious, dog. I’m a bag of nerves!”

Pacifica rolled her eyes, her arms crossed as she thought of the absurdity of her and a 16 year old lumberjack-in-training being better at this stuff than Soos and the town’s elected leader. It had barely even crossed her mind that they were moving into the morning by now, and she had no idea when monsters would start arriving into the market.

By the time it  _ had  _ crossed her mind, they had already hit the floor with a shallow thump – to find the place still mercifully quiet.

There was nothing but the sound of running water; the serene, almost medieval feel to the landscape of distant footsteps and cartwheels. The cobbled pavements and unfenced bridges and walkways.That similar, strange feeling of serenity returned to Pacifica’s mind as she took in the curious marketplace – exactly as she had remembered it.

The group all climbed back to their feet, some more dumbstruck than the rest.

“This is incredible… right under our feet, there’s a… there’s a black market?”

Tyler slowly raised up his cell phone to take pictures. Wendy gently pushed it back down and grinned. “Surprised you didn’t know, man. I think I’m probably gonna hang out here, like, every weekend.”

“There’s no way this is legal.”

“Well, no, it’s a black market.” Wendy shrugged. “Neither is your contract with Preston, dude.”

“But… but planning permission, taxes – I’m trying to get this town on the level and there’s a whole community not paying into the coffers!”

“I don’t think you’ll get these guys to pay taxes, mayor.” Pacifica rolled her eyes. “I doubt most of them even have bank accounts.”

“This… this is ridiculous!”

“This is Gravity Falls,” Pacifica huffed, adjusting her hair.

_ She was done. She was so freaking done. _

The group explored the strange little market square curiously – begrudgingly allowing themselves the freedom to scour the place while they were basically trapped there, before visiting Curzon and – hopefully – getting the entire mess sorted out.

Soos ran to one of the doorways excitably.

“Dude, this is where I bought that snowglobe!”

There was a momentary, stunned silence.

“You… **_what_** ?!” Pacifica snapped, gripping her forehead, teeth gritted.

“Yeah girl-dude, Shmebulock gave me a key. Swapped it for Dipper’s email password. There’s like, a full staircase inside a big redwood outside the shack.”

Pacifica twitched and tried to maintain her temperament – with great difficulty. She had braved a living flesh tunnel – with teeth –  _ twice  _ in the  _ same day  _ while Soos got a nice rustic staircase.  _ Fantastic  _ .

She huffed again, trying to wipe the general feeling of dirtiness from her sleeves after her second dive into a cavern of drool that coughed up fricking  _ squirrels  _ .

“Did you notice any  _ more  _ of the things?” Pacifica spoke through her teeth.

“Yeah, dude. Must have had twenty of ‘em. Couldn’t understand a word he was saying. There’s like three more of the guys down the street, I think one of them sells, like, unicorn steak or something.”

Wendy, Pacifica and Tyler all stared at Soos blankly – as Mr. Mystery knocked on the little red wooden door in one of the Crawl Space’s many enclaves – across the square from Curzon’s own little hollow.

“Angus, dog, you there?”

Pacifica blinked. “Angus.”

“Yeah, dude. I think he’s German or something?”

“Och! Ah’m comin’ ya great muckle Yank, dinnae worry!” came from the hoarse shout from the corridors. “Ah’ve only just finished mah haggis!”

Great. Another British stereotype in The Crawl Space – this time, a Scotsman, going from the accent and lingo. The door swung open, revealing a blotchy, red face with a thick moustache and a tartan hat, complete with a little bobble on top, a tiny little cob pipe balancing precariously on his bottom lip.

“Whit can ah I dae fae ye?” The gruff voice snorted, puffing clouds of familiar, fennel scented smoke.

“Dude, don’t you just love this guy?” Soos beamed.

Pacifica was beginning to wonder if the British stereotypes down here were  _ offensive  _ and was less than enamoured to see Angus in his glory – especially when he seemed, like Curzon, to simply stand in his doorway, an entire stall of cheap trinkets and snowglobes manifesting in front of him.

And they all smoked.

_ Why did they all smoke?! _

__

Tyler gasped as the entire range of CB Industry snowglobes appeared before his eyes – all similar in age, shape and style – all cheap and tacky.

All almost  _ certainly  _ cursed.

“Where do you get them?” Tyler asked, in a hushed, awe struck voice. .

“Ah’m the one who makes th’ things!” He growled.

Tyler stared. “You… you are?”

“Aye, as a matter o’fact, ah’ve a shipment o’ twenty of ‘em aff tae the surface in th’morrow. They’re richt popular, lately. Used t’make ‘em for some wee tourist trap 50 years ago.”

Momentarily they blessed their good luck. What a  _ coincidence  _ that they only had to travel a few metres to find the source.

Maybe Pacifica had adopted it from Dipper and Ford, but she had gotten pretty suspicious of any ‘Coincidence’. It seemed like the past few weeks had proven that coincidences  _ don’t happen  _ .

She figured it was best to keep quiet about it and see where things would go from here.

“Oh, cool dude! I’ll buy three-“ Soos was promptly jabbed in the side by Pacifica. “Oh. Right. The curse thing.”

Pacifica eyed the blotchy faced scotsman as he stood there, blowing nearly perfect smoke circles with his cob pipe. She couldn’t help but notice his eyes were almost completely obscured. As if his entire face was construed of flushed cheeks and shocks of red hair.

She had seen some odd people in Gravity Falls, but this one... This one didn’t seem quite right.

At least Curzon had the decency to be  _ terrifying  _ . This one just seemed uncanny. Unpalatably off.

Still, money talks.

There was still the matter at hand, even if it meant dealing with some sort of... Weird Scottish caricature.

“Look, uh… Angus,” Pacifica piped up, hesitantly. “We’ll buy your entire stock. We… we can’t have those things getting out there, okay?”

“Och, I dinnae ken, girlie. Ah’m lookin’ to get them oot there, aye?”

“I’ll pay ten times what Stan’s paying,” Pacifica replied, now more hurried – holding up her credit card.

The strange, bearded snow globe seller chewed his pipe and raised one of his thick orange eyebrows – though not enough for Pacifica to actually see his eyes.

“Wealthy lassie, are we? Ach… Aye, ah guess I dinnae mind daein’ a deal, but I dinnae take credit.”

Pacifica’s face dropped. Great. Now she had to  _ haggle  _ with a Scottish caricature. “Well, what do you want?”

“Ah’ll take these pretty pieces o’ silver on yer ears, aye?”

Pacifica froze and held her earrings. “…These?”

“Aye, ah cuid melt ‘em doon and mak’ some silver bullets.”

“They’re platinum.”

“Ach, platinum bullets, then.”

Pacifica cringed, her hands holding her precious platinum hoops.

She was  _ not  _ the sort to give up her possessions – especially her favourite earrings – lightly. Her first instinct was to swear at the dude and walk away. She  _ loved  _ those earrings. She had worn them for years! They were fabulous on her, they were valuable, they were…

_ They were nothing compared to her family. _

Wendy smiled reassuringly and held the blonde’s shoulder. Pacifica looked up at her, then unclipped them – holding them momentarily in her hand, gazing at them mournfully.

Dipper better damned well apologise after all of this was over.

“Fine, Angus. You have a deal.”

She dropped them on the table.

“Just don’t ship them up there. Got it?”

“Ye’ve got a deal, lass.” Angus looked down at the table filled with snowglobes then back up at her. “Dae ye want a bag or somethin’?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. I also got a lovely proof reader and three more chapters ready and waiting, so we're moving slowly into the home stretch with a little bit of refinement after this one. Figured it'd be a good idea to fill in the week-long wait in the meantime.  
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.  
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	14. So Here's How It All Went Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

Pacifica gave her earrings one last glance before spinning on her heel and dusting her hands. “Okay, okay, okay, that’s uh… that’s dealt with-“

Her voice quivered as she spoke, while Soos looked through his pockets for a couple of quarters to give Angus for a reusable shopping bag.

Wendy watched the younger girl with genuine concern. “Pacifica, are you… crying?”

“Wh…what?” Pacifica whimpered – before snapping back into her determined façade. “No. Shut up, Wendy.”

Pacifica wiped her eyes quickly while nobody was looking – being sure not to smudge her makeup – before grabbing Tyler by the arm and pulling him along towards Curzon’s door.

Tyler’s eyes were still wide as he took in his surroundings, lagging behind her as he stared up at the features of the subterranean world of The Crawlspace, his mind boggling at the bizarre nature of what he was being confronted with.

He only stared even more when Pacifica rapped at the little door and it swung open to a crawling, smoking set of limbs, leading into a shadow - that slowly opened to reveal those glowing, white-blue eyes and two rows of _ far too many teeth. _

“Orwite, luv? Nice t’cast my peepers on yer again. Who’s this?”

“Curzon, this is Tyler Cutebiker.”

“Cutebiker? Well I’ll be. I knew yer gramps, mate! Nice to meetcha. Shake.”

Tyler hesitantly outstretched a hand, only for it to be taken by one of the smoking, strangely moist tendrils of smoke and vapour and shaken gently.

He watched, trying his damnedest to maintain a calm exterior, as the grinning mouth and glowing eyes in the dark shadows of the doorway spat out a cigar and began to smoke it.

The little man in the short shorts was trying his best not to break into a fully fledged purple duck fit.

“Wot can I do fer ya, eh? Do you still ‘ave yer pop’s biker bar?”

“No. I’m… I’m the mayor of the town.”

“The mayor?! Blummee! Must ‘ave bin a popular bar, eh?” The shadow beast laughed, the cigar perching on his bottom teeth, spouting clouds of thick, choking smoke. “Blummee, the bladdy mayor on me doorstep, should I do a curtsy? HA! Luv a duck, eh…”

Tyler looked at Pacifica, who simply shrugged in response. “I’m here to uh… cancel the contract my family made. For the snowglobes and the bar, y’know? We uh… we don’t need it anymore.”

“Really? You aren’t after cursed objects when you’ve become a politician? Bladdy rarity! HA! Aye, sure, no skin off me teeth, mate. Gimme two shakes an’ I’ll get the paperwork, eh?”

The creature faded into the darkness, the sound of pittering feet and filing cabinets beginning their refrain, bonded with that now familiar herbal smell of anise and fennel.

“He seemed nice. For a… shadow thing,” Tyler mumbled.

“Yeah, he… he seems like a decent guy,” Pacifica muttered back. “Just watch your back.”

“Don’t trust him?”

“I don’t trust any guy who spends all of his time standing in a doorway,” Pacifica snarked, rolling her eyes.

“And the curses, huh?”

“Yeah. And the curses. I definitely don’t trust a guy who deals with curses.”

“I mean… technically, doesn’t Dipper-”

“Shut up, Mr. Mayor.”

“Gotcha.” Tyler giggled. “...Soos was joking about there being five more of them, right?”

Pacifica didn’t even want to honour the idea of there being more of these things. Angus and Curzon seemed perfectly bizarre enough without having to take on the idea of every doorway in the crawlspace having its own little shadowy seller.

The echoing of Curzon’s voice made clear he had plenty of paperwork to sift through.

“Lessee, lessee… Cage… Carrey… Clooney…Cowell… Cutebiker! Oi, mate - Issat Cornwell Q. Cutebiker?”

“That’s the guy.” Tyler smiled, looking down at the pavement, nervously. “Not heard his full name in a while.”

“Not surprising, mate. Cornwell? HA! Worra name… Anyway, lessee here, just sign the release form and we’re all polished off, right?”

A shadowy tendril held up a thick series of stapled sheets. Tyler took it and began reading while the grinning creature floated idly in his doorway, puffing smoke rings while his ‘arms’ writhed and twisted in the vapour that flooded from his chamber.

The release form, while being very detailed, was entirely above board. If Tyler was expecting an elaborate trap that resulted in his soul being stolen, or the town taken over, or the destruction of his puma merchandise, he would be sorely mistaken.

It was just, right enough, a case of signing – and the entire thing would be over. They’d be nothing more than ordinary snowglobes.

Tyler raised an eyebrow and twitched his little moustache. “Is this really it?”

“Of course it is, luvvy. I’m a legit businessman, mate, nothing below the belt. Yer gramps signed a contract, I ‘elped ‘im, you want me stop ‘elping. It ain’t complicated, is it?”

“I mean, I’d just expect more of a double cross from a-“

“Let’s not get offensive, mate. Sign it off, on yer bike, ‘appy as larry,” the shadow replied, his Cheshire cat grin chewing the cigar between its incisors.

Tyler looked at the teenager stood alongside him for some – any – kind of confirmation or reassurance. Pacifica just shrugged in response. She was kind of freaked out by how easy everything was shaping up to be.

Tyler gulped and looked back at the contract - before taking out his finest Mystery Shack ballpoint pen. This was it; the little man signed the paper, Curzon watching him with those glowing, pupil-less eyes. 

“Okay…” he said, handing back the paperwork. “That’s it? We’re… really done here?”

“Yeah, mate. No more curse, all the snowglobes are just snowglobes. Dunno how much that’ll affect folks who’ve dedicated their lives to ‘em, of course, but the uh… recent case Blondie was on about? Sorted. Done an’ dusted.”

“So all we’ve got to do is collect up the rest of them.” Tyler grinned. “To keep your little market a secret.”

“HA! Oh aye mate, keep me a secret. I’m not gonna help you on that one, mate, sorry. Bad business to chase away prospective customers, innit?”

Wendy couldn’t help but chuckle to herself, rather surprised at how smoothly everything seemed to be going. She leant on Pacifica’s head (much to her surrogate little sister’s chagrin) and listened intently.

“Not much chance of getting prospective customers easily down here…” Tyler mumbled.

“Yer right, mate, but you’re ‘ere aren’t you? Now off you go. If I’m not mistaken – and I very rarely am, pal – Blondie’s family are outside, feelin’ very confused.”

“Well… thank you,” Tyler replied, shaking one of those smoking tendrils again.

Pacifica coughed into her hand and allowed herself a little smile. “Yeah, you’ve… actually been a really big help, Curzon. Thanks.”

“No problem, luv. You want any more baseball cards, come down visit us, yeah? Or curses, bewitchments, fluffy ducklings, that sort of jazz – can do it all, me. If not, one of me ...uh… associates could pick up the slack. Come meet us sometime, eh?”

“S-Sure. We’ll… we’ll do that.”

The quiet, murmured goodbyes and thank yous were abruptly met by Curzon’s door slamming shut, and his little stall disappearing – much as it did with Angus on the other side of the square.

It was like the entire thing had never happened - in a single instance, everything was packed up and back to being serene, empty, and calming.

Once again, The Crawl Space returned to silence, with only the sound of distant footsteps and running water.

Pacifica, Wendy, Tyler and Soos all began making their way back onto Gerron Street, leaving behind the amiable, shadowy creatures that had created and destroyed the bizarre situation that was haunting them.

“Dude, that Curzon guy? Totally okay in my books.” Soos grinned, heaving a bag of snowglobes behind him.

“Yeah, that was easy as hell.” Wendy smiled. “Dunno why we were so worried.”

“I still can’t believe any of this stuff is real,” Tyler mumbled to himself.

Pacifica stayed quiet, cursing her own paranoia when it came to the creatures she had only just met – as well as, deep inside, the loss of her favourite, prized platinum earrings.

Wendy and Soos promptly went to explain what they could to Grunkle Stan, who was trying to make sense of things over a fresh can of Pitt – while Tyler stood there, blankly, trying to process what the hell had just happened to him.

Pacifica got out of there slower than the rest of the group – not exactly looking forward to the confrontation ahead of her. What the Pines had said to her – no matter how much it was due to some weird curse – it hurt her. It  _ still _ hurt to think about.

She wasn’t like Mabel or Wendy. She  _ totally  _ held a grudge. And part of her was  _ still _ annoyed.

She climbed back onto Gerron Street and rubbed her arm regretfully as she glanced at the shattered snowglobe, still scattered across the floor in pieces – before promptly being tackled to the floor by Mabel, squeezing her so tight it felt like her ribs were breaking.

“Oh my gosh, Paz, I’m so sorry! We’re so sorry! We didn’t mean to!” the hyperactive Pines twin blabbered.

“Mabel! Mabel! It’s fine, okay? Just… just let me get to Dipper, alright?”

“Kiss and make up time, huh?” Mabel beamed, her mood promptly doing a complete 180.

“Duh.”

“Alright, you lovebirds go and make out. I think he kinda needs it.” Mabel grinned, sitting on the floor next to her friend. 

“You’re the worst.” Pacifica grinned back.

“And also the best!” Mabel shouted excitedly. “Even if I did get hypnotised by a cute snowglobe, I’m still the absolute bestest. Bwaaap!”

Pacifica got up and rolled her eyes – still vaguely aware of the empty feeling on her earlobes. She took a deep breath, adjusted her hair (to try and cover, at least partially, the fact that her favourite earrings were gone) and looked at Dipper.

Her face dropped somewhat at the sight of a very forlorn teenager, moping to himself. Grunkle Stan sat next to him, attempting an awkward consolation while he drank his soda.

Dipper was sitting on the curb, his head in his hands, completely convinced he had  _ thoroughly _ screwed everything up. Stan patted him on the back and left the two alone, giving Pacifica’s hair a thorough ruffle as he walked away.

Pacifica stood there awkwardly for a moment, testing how long Dipper could go without looking at her.

It wasn’t very long. He looked up at her with big, sad eyes and a resigned look to him – almost as if he was expecting her to slap him and walk away, a break up text ready and waiting.

Dipper might be one of the smartest people she knew, but he could sure be  _ dumb _ with this stuff. 

On the upside, any attempt in her mind of holding a grudge melted away immediately at the sight of her boyfriend on the brink of tears.

“Hey.” Pacifica smiled sheepishly. “Can I uh… sit here?”

“I-if you want to,” Dipper mumbled.

“Great. Let’s talk. And Dip? You might want to get that journal ready. Pretty sure we’ve just made a deal with one of those anomaly things.”

Dipper blinked – and smiled.

Pacifica grinned back at him and sat as close to him as she could.

_ Of course something weird would perk him up. What a dork. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.  
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo, my fiancee. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	15. Explanation & Reconciliation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

“Pacifica, I didn’t mean a word I said.”

“I know you didn’t.”

“I mean, I  _ really  _ didn’t mean it. You’ve gotta believe me.”

“I  _ do  _ believe you.”

“I promise you, I love having you in our family, I love having you and I don’t want to lose you. It was all 100% the snowglobe talking. I really just don’t want you to think that I-”

“Dipper!”

“What?”

“There’s a few things we can do to fix this situation, okay? The first is you not talking about it for any longer than we need to.”

“And the second?”

“You freaking kiss me.”

“...What happened to your earrings?”

“You  _ also  _ don’t mention that.”

Pacifica pulled Dipper closer to him and smiled, looking into his eyes, reassuringly. It was just about enough to shut up Dipper’s anxieties for a while - without warning, he threw his arms around her, kissing her as determinedly as he could.

It was pretty unusual for Dipper to ‘take charge’ in these situations. Pacifica kind of liked it. 

It felt exactly like the movies. It felt, for practically the first time, that Dipper knew what to do with her. That he knew what she wanted him to do. That he actually had that confidence and charisma of a hero - even if Pacifica had been the one to save his skin this time.

Details, details. That didn’t matter. 

It was perfect. For Pacifica, it was practically the most perfect kiss she’d gotten from him.

Her eyes widened momentarily in surprise - before closing as she practically melted in his arms, holding him firmly against her with the tiniest little hint of a smile on her puckered lips.

Mabel fumbled for her Polaroid camera eagerly - only for Pacifica to outstretch her arm and take a photo with her cellphone instead before the hyperactive Pines twin even got a chance to take that all important shot.

“Everything’s a scrapbookortunity.” Pacifica smiled, her cheeks flushed. “That one deserves  _ pride of place _ .”

Mabel squealed and high fived her future sister in law proudly. “Booyah! Pacifica gets it! That one’s going straight onto the wedding invites.”

“You’re the worst,” Pacifica smirked.

“ _ And _ the best.” Mabel beamed proudly, hands on her hips. 

Dipper smiled and held Pacifica close against him, feeling more than a little bit proud of his own little shot of spontaneous romance, there. He tried to keep a confident grin, but quickly faltered back into his usual bashful, anxious, frittered little smile the moment that Pacifica’s eyes met his.

He then snapped into realisation that his girlfriend had just gone on an entire Mystery-Twins-esque escapade  _ without the Mystery Twins.  _

“S-So, what happened down there?”

“Wow, okay, this is going to take a while….” Pacifica smiled, adjusting her hair. 

She beckoned Wendy over. It kind of made sense that two people explaining the past few hours would do a better job than one of them. Besides, Soos wasn’t the best at providing input and she was pretty sure Mayor Cutebiker needed a bit of extra time to process that there was a little monster market underneath the town. 

Figures.

Pacifica and Wendy both tried to explain their ordeal to Dipper, who hurriedly scribbled down notes as if he was a secretary at a meeting, frantically scribbling down even the most minor of details.

By the end of it, his little reporter’s notebook - because of  _ course _ Dipper had a reporter’s notebook - had been half filled with everything from spider graphs showing the connections, to notes about how Curzon and Angus had smelled. 

He was immediately fascinated by the entire story - but, more than anything, he was suspicious. Creatures that could only be seen in doorways, that acted as demonic salesmen in the walls of The Crawlspace?

All of which seemed to be British stereotypes? Sure, they had only met two of them but… two was enough. Two was more than enough.

He was already becoming convinced that this was another great conspiracy of the town that they needed to go up against. The Crawlspace was already weird enough - the idea of shadowy market sellers -  _ British  _ shadowy market sellers - was a bit  _ too weird _ for him to accept as being a straightforward concept. That was a little bit too anomalously anomalous for the little patch of Oregon. Everything else in town seemed to have some kind of internal logic.

Where had these weird British sellers even come from? 

Besides the obvious answer, he meant. Like, if they were actually British, he figured they’d at least be the sort of creature that could stowaway on a ship or a plane, like the other strangely cockney creatures they had encountered down there.

He’d want to at least find out the origins of these things. No way he could just let a literal curse dealer go under the radar - what if he was an evil magician or something?

_ Whoa, what if he was Merlin? Like, everything in England was connected to Merlin somehow, right? _

Pacifica and Wendy exchanged worried glances as Dipper dove internally into a mass of theories, questions and conspiracies.

Pacifica didn’t like when Dipper went into these little spells of vacuity. Was he going crazy, or what?

No, Dipper Pines was  _ convinced _ . 

Something was going on.

It didn’t surprise Pacifica in the least that Dipper was suspicious. 

However, he also wanted to  _ go back in there. _

That didn’t surprise Pacifica either. It also failed to get a particularly positive response. 

“We aren’t going back in there,” she put, simply.

“Pacifica, we have to. I need to get pictures of them - and, besides, I want to ask this Curzon dude some questions.”

“No. This little adventure is over, Dipper. I’m not going back through that doorway.”

“Don’t you want to really get to the bottom of the mystery? Really see where it all came from? Really discover Curzon’s secrets?”

“No! I only wanted to save you from the weird snowglobe curse… thing. Not solve some kind of crazy mystery! This has already been one of the worst experiences of my life!”

“You said  _ yourself  _ that there’s something funny going on. What if they’re planning something?”

Wendy rolled her eyes. “Dude, he was fine. Just a weird, friendly guy.”

“He’s a shadow that deals in curses, Wendy,” Dipper retorted. “Something’s not right. Something seems off. There has to be another angle. In this town, if something looks evil or does evil things, chances  _ are  _ they’re pretty evil.”

The honorary Pines kid couldn’t deny it - as much as she wanted to. She stayed quiet on the matter, hoping that somehow the conversation might… just float off elsewhere.

But... Dipper was  _ Dipper _ . “Look. Just introduce me to them - What’s the harm?”

“Fine. But we’re using Soos’s entrance.”

If nothing else, Pacifica figured she might be able to get her earrings back. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.  
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo, my fiancee. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	16. The Cankerblight Conspiracy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

“Bladdy hell, yer back already, luv? With friends? It’s me lucky day. I’ve got baseball cards, curses, bewitchments, parlour tricks and tarot readings - sit down, flowers!”

Dipper and Mabel stared at the creature as it grinned in its doorway. 

“Whoaaaa. It’s a shadow man!” Mabel gasped. “Can I poke it?”

“That’s what they call me, but hands off the merchandise, luv. Don’t touch what you can’t afford, eh? HAW!”

“I don’t get it.”

“Y’will when yer older.”

Dipper stepped closer to Curzon’s doorway suspiciously, before promptly being recoiled by a thick cloud of smoke from the creature’s cigar, and pushed back by his smoking tendrils.

“Don’t get too close, mate. I might bite. Who’s this then?”

“This is Dipper, my uh… my boyfriend.”

“‘Ang on, ‘im and the browny are twins, right?”

“Yeah…?”

“Blummee, you two are the Pines, aren’t ya? Bladdy nora, the ones who took Cipher down during that Weirdmageddon lark? Crikey, I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Uh...yeah, I uh… guess that’s us.”

“Crikey O’Reilly, that were a good weekend fer business, I c’n tell you. Never sold so many curses and bewitchments. Good lad, that Cipher.”

Dipper instantly took a step back, nervously. “Look, uh… Curzon, we don’t want any trouble, alright?”

“Yeah, Pacifica helped fight Bill too!”

“Like, thanks Mabel,” Pacifica sighed. 

“Oi, simmer down, eh? No worries, mates. I get it, yer all did what yer did, story’s over, boom. It’s not like I’m desperate fer business or owt.”

The creature’s grin seemed to falter somewhat. 

“Of course, since all that the punters don’t feel th’need to hide as much down ‘ere…”

There was a pause as Curzon seemed to consider his life choices before his young visitors. Pacifica was beginning to get worried that bringing the twins down here was a… poor decision.

“Anyways, what can I do fer ya?”

“We wanted to ask you some questions,” Dipper replied, knocking his lumberjack hat back somewhat and pulling the pencil from his ear. “Y’know, about you and your uh… friends.”

“Am I goin’ in a magazine or something? HAW! Look, mate, I like yer enthusiasm, but I’m not lookin’ to do interviews, eh? Besides, I don’t ‘ave any friends, they’re me colleagues.”

“Well then, how many are there of you?”

Curzon’s Cheshire cat grin disappeared, his eyes changing hue to an icy blue as they furrowed – or, at least, if he had visible eyebrows, they  _ would  _ furrow.

“Wot do you mean  _ of me _ ? What ‘ave you ‘eard, mate? Don’t go investigating on old Curzon, Pal, everything ‘ere’s above board, straight ‘n’ narrow.”

“We mean of …y’know, you guys who sell in street corners and alcoves,” Pacifica replied, gesturing vaguely with her hands. “N...no offence.”

“Look, mates, there’s six doorway sellers in this place and I ‘ave no connection ‘em apart from professional, get it? They’re all good blokes, but nowt to do with me.”

Curzon seemed to be puffing on his cigar with a new level of agitation, regular clouds of thick smoke wheezing from the tip of the burning tobacco as he glared at the teenagers talking to him – no longer giving that now familiar broad grin.

Curzon seemed uncomfortable. In fact, he seemed angry. By the way his features were floating and writhing in the doorway, it appeared he was squirming in discomfort.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. Pacifica almost instinctively held his hand, while Mabel, without warning, threw a pebble into the black hollow the creature called its home. It seemed to echo as it dropped down what sounded like a flight of stairs.

“We’ll uh… go talk to the others as well, thanks Curzon.”

“No problem mate, just don’t stick your nose too far in, eh? Yer liable to lose it.”

“…Right.”

Dipper looked at his notes as Curzon’s doorway slammed shut behind them, and they moved to the little stall that Angus had made his home.

“I don’t think he liked you two very much,” Pacifica mumbled. “Seems like he saw you as a bit of a threat.”

“Probably because we’re mystery busters!” Mabel beamed.

“We have foiled quite a lot of evil plans,” Dipper nodded.

“You don’t normally ruin the lives of  _ ordinary _ weird things, though, not unless there’s something going on,” Pacifica replied, speculatively. “I think he  _ is _ hiding something.”

“Maybe he’s actually a floaty fish thing! Or an evil robot! Or an alien!”

“Mabel, if we weren’t in Gravity Falls, I’d think you were crazy,” Pacifica huffed.

“I think it’s more to do with the other guys down here.” Dipper chewed his pencil absently as he walked with the two girls, before he had to spit out little splinters and paint flakes that had gotten stuck on his tongue.

Pacifica was used to Dipper’s chewing habit but when it came to the pencil falling apart in his mouth, it usually meant that something was seriously amiss in his mind. Perhaps it was the stress of being saved by his girlfriend and Tyler Cutebiker, but his furrowed brow and continuous glare hinted at there being more going on in his – admittedly impressive – little mind.

Angus was no more fond of talking about himself than Curzon – and even more difficult for Dipper to actually understand.

“Look, ah dinnae ken whit sort o’explanation ye’re seekin’. Ah mak’snowglabes fer Curzon, trinkets fer th’Whitehoose, an’ occasionally sell collectable stamps.”

“You collaborate with Curzon?” Dipper asked, pointing with his now half-chewed pencil.

“Aye, once in a while.”

“And anyone else?” Pacifica put in.

“Gertrude down th’road collects spring water fer me snowglabes. Nice lass, she is. Must be 200 years auld at a guess. She collects all kinds o’natural resources around here.”

“So the snowglobes hold spring water?” she asked, bewildered. “Why?”

Dipper blinked, somewhat surprised by his girlfriend suddenly taking charge of the ‘interrogation’. He wasn’t sure if he was annoyed or impressed.

He looked at Mabel who just shrugged and threw another pebble – this time into Angus’s doorway. It seemed to echo as it dropped down what sounded like a flight of stairs…

Dipper’s brow raised, before he went back to taking down notes. That was definitely noteworthy. Something was getting weirder.

“Th’water’s richt weird, jus’ like th’toon, aye? Helps tae amplify Curzon’s curses an’ bewitchments.”

“Anything else we should know about Gertrude, Curzon, and yourself?”

“Whae’s askin’? We’re juis’ colleagues, ye ken?”

“My name isn’t Ken.”

“Ach. Luik, ah dinnae feel comfortable wi’ all these questions. Ah’m juis an honest man, daein honest wuirk. Aye?”

“And you’re sure there isn’t anything else you should tell us?” Pacifica asked, more firmly. She stepped up to the creature and glared into his eyes.

She blinked. His eyes, like Curzon’s – once she had gotten close enough to see them under his thick, bushy eyebrows – were a milky white. She tried to maintain a poker face. It obviously didn’t work.

Angus chewed his cob pipe, glaring down at her - his moustache ruffling with a concealed temper, his red, blotchy features only seeming more red and blotchy with his diminishing patience.

Finally, he puffed a thick cloud of clag from his pipe and slammed the door shut, prompting one of many lanterns to fall from the wall and smash against the cobblestone floor.

Dipper watched as Pacifica huffed in frustration and stood with her hand on her hip, with her usual level of sass and sarcasm. It was fair to say that Miss Northwest was  _ not _ enjoying their little bout of interrogation already – but now? Now she was outright  _ annoyed _ .

She was still in the frame of mind that nobody,  _ nobody _ slammed a door in front of her.

She was only further frustrated by the fact this stuff really didn’t make much sense. Why did Angus just so happen to have the same eyes as Curzon? What was the connection?

Was there even a connection?

Gertrude was a frail, withered old creature compared to the two others they had met, and, unusually, was thoroughly on show – eyes and all – though they were obscured by thick bifocals.

She doddered and mumbled to herself as she spoke with the kids, on the surface being the kind of doilies and hard candy kind of lady that was impossible to dislike – but Pacifica smelt a rat.

Which – in itself – wasn’t too unlikely. Of course there’d be rats down here.

But that familiar smell of fennel and herbs, that smell of aniseed – it wafted from the old lady’s doorway, which, itself, seemed to be composed entirely of shadow.

Dipper nudged Mabel in the side and pointed at another pebble on the floor beneath them – which his sister was all too happy to pick up and fling down the little doorway and the pitch black shadows behind their latest interviewee. By now, they had figured this should just be routine for each of them.

It seemed to echo as it dropped down what sounded like a flight of stairs…

“Can I help you, dearies?” The kindly old voice quivered as she spoke. “I see you’ve been flapping around our little market all night.”

“We were wondering if you could tell us about the snowglobes, your work here, your connection to the others…” Dipper tried his best to hide his suspicions – and to hide his ongoing bitterness towards the snowglobes that had gotten them into this bizarre situation.

“The others? Ooh, I’m the only one of me down here, sweetheart. I’ve been here for as long as the Crawlspace has, you know. Fetching all of the natural ingredients for the little goblins and gnomes, you know, making lace…”

“Gertrude, could you do little old me a favour?” Mabel asked, giving her cutest smile.

Gertrude smiled and bent down slightly. “Of course, sweetie. What is it?”

“Can you take your glasses off?”

“My glasses? Ooh, I don’t know, I’m- I’m blind as a bat without them, dearie.”

“Pweeeaaaase?” Mabel gave her best puppydog eyes and twisted her foot on the floor.

Pacifica and Dipper both ended up smirking at Mabel’s natural intuition for manipulating old ladies with cuteness. It was quite the superpower.

Gertrude stared at the Pines twin, her lip beginning to quiver.

“…No. Get lost.”

The door slammed shut, leaving only the stray smell of fennel and aniseed.

Mabel, Dipper and Pacifica blinked.

“They’re all weird floaty fish monsters!” Mabel gasped, scandalised.

Pacifica held the bridge of her nose and sighed. She wasn’t going to tell her. Not her problem.

“I think we need to hatch a plan,” Dipper mumbled.

“Let’s turn those things into fishsticks,” Mabel snarled, punching her hand. “It’s  _ sushi _ time.”

Pacifica rolled her eyes. 

Well, she’d gone  _ this  _ far. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.  
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo, my fiancee. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	17. Suspicious Eggs Benedict

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The trio tried to examine the rest of the door sellers and found they were no longer welcome – anywhere. The one in the flat cap who sold pies swore at them, the one with an arm missing and a miner’s helmet tried to spit on Dipper’s shoes, and the butcher attempted to buy Mabel to turn her into his bestselling human steaks.

Continuing the investigation was proving fruitless – but they were smart enough to know exactly what conclusions to draw (outside of them being floaty fish monsters.)

The three of them ended up in the Crawlspace’s bistro, Café Del Monstro - a strangely familiar, tacky feeling cafe that seemed to be going for some sort of monster variant on shabby chic French...crud. It was nice to know that even monsters could have ridiculously basic tastes.

There they sat on the terrace, going over what they had learnt.

“Curzon, Angus, Gertrude, and the other three are… connected, somehow,” Dipper said to the others while drinking a glass of cricket lemonade. “Also, this is actually pretty good.”

“You are totally brushing your teeth before I ever kiss you again,” Pacifica snapped in disgust.

“It tastes like sour gummi worms!” Mabel said excitedly, chugging hers with gusto. “This is awesome!”

“How the hell did I get involved with a family that drinks cricket lemonade,” Pacifica said, flatly, her eyes gazing up towards the stray pipes and cables that made up the Crawlspace’s ceiling, vaguely covered by ramshackle cladding and drop tiles. 

“Let’s… let’s get back on topic.” Dipper sighed. “The uh… door sellers all _literally_ live in doors, two out of three have the same eyes, all of them smell the same, all of them seem to have some kind of smoke and pitch black doorways that lead into staircases. This can’t be some coincidence. Where would the staircases even lead? We’re like thirty feet underground.”

“Obviously it’s the lake they all swim in,” Mabel nodded sincerely.

“They aren’t fish, Mabel.”

“Do you have proof they aren’t?”

“No.”

“BOOM! Fish theory is still valid.”

Pacifica looked at the Eggs Benedict she had ordered, not being entirely sure what sort of eggs they _were_ and not being over enamoured with the idea of finding out. She was also utterly sick to the death of fennel and aniseed.

Everyone down here seemed to carry that exact same smell. It wasn’t a bad smell, it just… got pretty overpowering. It was like she had two liquorice candies stuck up her nose.

She _liked_ liquorice, despite how weird that apparently was for a thirteen year old. She just wasn’t sure she wanted it _constantly_ stuck to her nostrils and clothes…

She sighed and fiddled with one of her now platinum-less earlobes idly.

What a horrible night it had been. When had they last even properly slept?!

“I’m just saying, it could be giant floaty fish,” Mabel argued.

“Mabel, look, it isn’t fish. I think they’re connected. There’s something we’re missing.”

“I don’t think they’re just _connected_ ,” Pacifica grumbled quietly, almost too quietly for the others to even hear her. Why was she getting involved with this junk? She wasn’t interested in these stupid mysteries. She wanted her earrings back, she wanted to go home and she wanted to shower.

“Huh?”

“I said I don’t think they’re just _connected,_ ” Pacifica spoke up a little bit louder, averting her eyes from the others, her brow still furrowed. “I… I think they’re the same creature.”

She gritted her teeth, expecting to be instantly discredited for such a stupid theory. She wasn’t some sort of super smart hero, she was the super smart hero’s girlfriend. How was she supposed to know?

She idly scraped her fork through the somewhat pungent breakfast in front of her and took a deep breath. Fine. If she had to be the one to say it, _fine_. Whatever led to them getting out of there _sooner._

“They all have the same eyes, all live down the same corridors, all of them seem to know who we are and they all sell things in doorways. They smell the same; they’re all British for some reason and at least half of them freaking smoke.”

She dropped the fork and sighed. It was just a stupid theory. Dipper was the expert. 

Dumb. It was all dumb and dorky and stupid and she hated it.

“Never mind. Forget I said anything.”

“You know, we don’t just keep you around for being a pretty face, Pacifica.” Dipper rolled his eyes. “I’d prefer if you helped us - you technically know Curzon better than any of us.”

“I just think there’s something else going on.” Pacifica shrugged.

“It’s like a… multi shadow? It’s like shadow hydra?” Mabel was trying to articulate the presumed awesomeness of the creature with her hands.

“I dunno what it is. I just think there’s more going on, okay?”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” Dipper chuckled and sipped his cricket lemonade, much to Pacifica’s chagrin.

“But if Curzon and all the others are just one fish, they’re basically running most of The Crawlspace,” Mabel put in. “They’re like… scamming every weird creature in town.”

“I don’t really care if they’re scamming gnomes and stuff, guys. I just think it’s weird, okay?”

“Mabel’s right, Pacifica. We need to fix this. It’s not right.”

“Way to label a guy dealing in curses with morals and ethics, guys,” came the sarcastic reply.

Pacifica huffed and looked back at her plate. She was still feeling a little irked about being dragged into the situation any longer than she had to – especially now that Dipper and Mabel had their hero hats on.

“So, what, we’re going to prove he’s some kind of harpy monster? How?”

“Well, in our experience…” Dipper began.

“We don’t have experience in harpy fish,” Mabel protested.

“In our experience, the best thing is to…well, tell everyone.” Dipper grinned nervously, rubbing the back of his head. “Y’know, start a big revolt. Get everyone to fight for us.”

“So you want to just do the same as we did with the McBurger guys?” Pacifica scoffed.

“What, would you rather run at him with a sword?” Dipper rebutted with a smile.

“Don’t push it, Dipper Pines.” Pacifica laughed, pushing his lumberjack hat over his eyes. “You _know_ that was cool.”

Dipper chuckled and pulled his hat back up. “Well look, in the end we don’t even know if the guy is a threat. It could be nothing. I mean, he was still kinda friendly, right?”

“Yeah! He seems like a cool shadow guy,” Mabel nodded. 

“Not sure how friendly he’ll be if we out him like that,” Pacifica scoffed. 

By now, a gentle flow of anomalous beings was beginning to go about its day to day routine; gnomes, unicorns, plaidypi and stomach faced ducks roaming the cobbles as the morning drew near - carts, wagons and mobile market stalls beginning to gather in the large, cobblestone plaza that made the Crawlspace’s epicentre. 

Such was the societal change that had developed since Wierdmageddon that few were really too interested in auctioning off stray humans in The Crawlspace. Life just… sort of went on regardless of the stray glances towards the famous Pines twins and their far more glamorous counterpart.

Old enemies, old friends, they were eager not to intrude on the kids that had defeated Bill Cipher.

Pacifica watched them and gave another bitter huff. It was… still a bit unusual for her to _not_ be the one who got constant public attention - even if it was from a bunch of weird, creepy things in some sort of weird, creepy underground marketplace.

She couldn’t help but feel jealous of the sheer respect that Mabel and Dipper got. They deserved it, but… she had been through hell too, right? It just didn’t feel that fair, that’s all…

The eggs squelched unpleasantly as she hassled her suspicious breakfast with her fork, the strangely off-colour yolk spreading across the strange smelling ‘bacon’.

She rested her head in her hand, watching the oozing liquids forlornly. 

She missed having a gourmet chef like Northwest Mansion. Hell, at this point she’d be happy with Susan’s famous coffee omelette… 

_SCREEEEE_

She looked up in surprise as Mabel scraped her chair away from the table and ran towards Curzon’s doorway, where he was trying to drum up business amongst a group of gnomes.

“What the _hell_ is she doing.” 

Dipper sipped the last of his cricket lemonade and looked up. “Wha?”

Pacifica pointed, coiling back slightly in her chair as Mabel shoved the gnomes out of the way - a shout of ‘Hey shadow man!’ echoing through the plaza.

Dipper stared, mouth agape. “I uh… I think we’d better go get her.”

“I think we’d better get armed before things go nuts,” Pacifica gulped, running with her boyfriend to the scene of commotion. 

_She was so done, she was so done, she was so done..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.  
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo, my fiancee and the marvellous PK2317. Thank you sincerely. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	18. Not Quite a Fish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

“Wots up, luv? Look, I’m busy here-“

“I know your secret, evil fishy hydra man! Everyone listen up! You’re being scammed!”

“Someone come along and bladdy take this child before I crack ‘er!” Curzon snapped. “She’s crazy, lads, don’t listen to this little human!”

“What are you going to do, fish hydra? You’re just a fish hydra. Taunt taunt!” Mabel grinned, her hands on her hips in her finest level of patent Pines sass. 

“I’m not a bleedin’ hydra, I’m just an honest market seller, ya little creep!”

Mabel grinned and folded her arms. “Prove it.”

Pacifica and Dipper stopped running – and flanked Mabel at either side, curious at what was going to arise from her blatant baiting of the monster. Curzon’s eyes widened as everybody in the market seemed to simultaneously turn towards him – every eyeball fixed upon him as the altercation continued.

“I don’t ‘ave to prove bladdy nuffin!”

“Why don’t you leave your door, Curzon? Why don’t you ever go to the bathroom? Why doesn’t Angus, or Gertrude, or the flat cap guy?!”

Curzon chewed his cigar furiously, even more smoke and vapour than usual erupting from his little doorway as Mabel challenged him in front of his customers. That was his business! His livelihood! Across the marketplace, Angus was now being confronted in the same way, as was Gertrude and the others – the entire plaza beginning to erupt into argument.

“You’re all bladdy crazy! I’m just an honest bloke selling curses and bewitchments, not some kind of demonic multi-headed market beast!”

Mabel gave a scandalised gasp and leaned forwards, her hands on her hips. “I didn’t say anything about you being a demon! What else do you have to tell us?! Huh?! Huh?!”

The gnomes all gasped in a similarly scandalised refrain, prompting the Manotaurs to start bellowing. The cacophony only caught the attention of more passers-by and built more of a crowd, comprised of everything from fairies to giant caterpillars.

“Guess it’s just as well that gnomes are so gullible,” Dipper mumbled.

“Your sister is pretty awesome,” Pacifica replied quietly. “I don’t think I know anyone else who’d be so… fearless to go up and taunt _that_.”

“Yeah, she’s uh…pretty charismatic.”

“Or dumb.”

“Yeah. Or dumb.”

“And let’s not forget, Mr. Cankerblight, if that _is_ your real name, you said Weirdmageddon was good for business! These poor manotaurs and gnomes lost their homes in Weirdmageddon, and you supported it! You sold products to the likes of Bill Cipher!”

The anger from the crowd built exponentially at the sheer mention of the evil triangle – prompting Curzon to recoil, his grin now forming into a seething frown. The gnomes, by now, were beginning to arm themselves with pitchforks, while the Manotaurs were adopting a battle formation.

Jeff the gnome was proudly giving orders from the shoulders of Paul, his new left-hand man. The right-hand man, Mick, was off work today. 

“I didn’t sell nuffin’ to Bill Cipher!” Curzon replied. “He’s powerful enough without my curses! I just sold a lot to his troops, that’s all-“

By now Mabel was beginning to veer into lawyering territory. “The troops who evicted our wonderful population of mythical creatures! And kicked a stomach faced duck at least once! That’s animal cruelty!”

“Not the duckies!” Pubitaur gasped.

“You bladdy Manotaurs eat the feathery sods anyway!” Curzon shouted back.

“That isn’t the point!” Pubitaur bellowed back at the top of his lungs.

“You want a bladdy piece of me, you bovine joke?!”

Pubitaur roared in response and started pounding his chest.

Pacifica smirked at the chaos that was erupting – and shocked herself by throwing in her own remark. “Why, what can you do, Curzon? You’re just a little guy in a door in The Crawlspace, he’s a Manotaur!”

Dipper turned to her in surprise and grinned, wrapping an arm around her waist. “Pacifica! ...Nice.”

“Heh. Thanks.”

Curzon spluttered out a thick cloud of smoke, his eyes now beginning to glow red with anger at the confrontation from the three teenagers that dared to stand up before him.

His facade had now well and truly fallen - Curzon Cankerblight was no longer the amiable, helpful curse seller of Gravity Falls - he was a livid creature who shouted and spat at those who stood ahead of him - human or otherwise.

He was becoming increasingly loud and unhinged. It would be hard to deny they were finding it… intimidating. 

Except for Mabel. Mabel maintained her sassy exterior, seemingly getting far too much enjoyment out of taunting the growling, wheezing creature in the shadows.

Curzon was beginning to growl and rumble as he spoke. “That’s what you bladdy well think, blondie! I’ll crush the lot of you under me foot if you don’t get outta my face!”

“You can’t even get out of your fish tank!” Mabel shouted back.

“Right, that just about bladdy does it! I’m not some kind of ruddy fish, I’m yer worst nightmare!”

“That’s just a cliché,” Mabel scoffed.

Curzon suddenly spat a thin, watery spray of liquid from between his teeth - missing Mabel by inches. The ground that it hit began to bubble and hiss. The chipper brunette stared as the corrosive liquid melted into the sandstone, allowing the cobble to crumble. She looked up and gulped. 

“Jeez. What kind of market seller spits acid?”

The others in The Crawlspace all looked up at Curzon, murmuring breaking out amongst even the most bizarre of the customers and clientele of the black market.

Dipper glanced at Pacifica and shrugged, not really knowing how to proceed with their assault upon the now seemingly aggressive - _and acid spitting_ \- market seller. What on Earth could they do? 

Pacifica was not used to thinking under pressure, and was beginning to trawl over every thought she had. There had to be some way to get things moving. Some way to get Curzon out of his hollow - while minimising, preferably, risk to themselves. 

She glanced at the gnomes and grinned.

Bingo.

“He’s a monster!” Pacifica squealed, clasping her hands together. “If someone defeats him I’ll almost _certainly_ be a gnome queen for them!”

Gnomes are not particularly intelligent, not particularly difficult to manipulate and tend to suffer from a short term memory loss. Their behaviour is also extremely predictable. Jeff promptly leaned over at the other gnomes and mumbled some instructions.

It took only the prospect of a new queen - even if it was one they had attempted to seduce before - to get Jeff to begin arming the troops. 

“Let’s go get ‘em! Paul, cue the lasso!” said the little man with vigour.

“Lassoo?” 

“Lasso. Wait, is it lasso or lassoo?” Jeff asked, looking back at the teens, who just shrugged and ushered them on. 

“Look, Jeff, just… do the freaky gnome monster thing, okay?” Mabel protested.

Jeff sighed. “No. No, I need to check this. Steve, do you have the dictionary?”

Steve brought the dictionary as Jeff took on his reading glasses.

Pacifica, Dipper and Mabel all gripped their temples, trying to resist the urge to kick the useless little creatures into Curzon’s doorway themselves - however, they had forgotten the now enraged Pubitaur, who promptly ran towards Curzon’s doorway with the wrath of a speeding goods train.

“Whoa there, whoa there matey! Hang about! Hang about!!”

Pubitaur was not a creature likely to listen to protests - he hammered his fist into the doorway and gripped hold of whatever was in there. 

“I’ll crush you like a bug!”

“I’m not a bladdy bug! Honest, guv!” said the stammering shadow creature, for the first time reacting with a genuine anxiety. “I’m yer mate! I’m yer mate!!”

“CRUSH!”

Dipper watched curiously as the creature’s enormous fist seemed to disappear briefly into the darkness. Even Pacifica couldn’t resist glancing from behind Dipper’s shoulder as the furious beast began to pull Curzon from his hollow. 

Curzon protested loudly, screaming and yelling. 

“Fackin’ ‘ell, you little bastich! What ‘ave yer done?!”

The Manotaur tugged Curzon firmly - and, rather than emerging from the shadow, it travelled with him. An elongated shape of tangible, fluttering smoke and tendrils, surrounded by vapour. A pitch black shape, with no light, no features, only those eyes and teeth. 

Somehow Pacifica found that scarier than if there was a grotesque creature in there. She gripped Dipper’s shoulder tightly and stared as the shadowy black mass just...kept coming.

“Ach! Whit in the Axolotl’s name-” 

She looked up and stared as, before her eyes, Angus flew from his doorway, his voice seeming to travel around them - as if he was inside the walls. Gertrude followed, passing through Angus’s stall as she was yanked through the labyrinthine channels that seemed to surround them.

“Ooh, dear-”

“What in the-”

“BASTICH!”

Seller after seller seemed to follow the same circular course around them - doorway after doorway suddenly losing the faces that filled them, echoing around them in muffled shouts and screams of argument. 

Dipper, Mabel and Pacifica stared in amazement as Curzon was pulled through his cavern bit by bit, protesting head by protesting head, Angus, Gertrude, the guy in the flat cap…

“Is he… a freaking… millipede?” Pacifica grimaced. 

She clasped her hand over her mouth and recoiled as she watched more and more of Curzon’s body reveal itself. Mabel was not so lucky and was already throwing up her cricket soda.

Dipper just stared, mouth agape. Curzon was weird, but _this_ weird?

Sure enough, the creature had legs. Hundreds of spindly little legs at his base, smoking tendrils above - a sliding, slick creature of several hundred feet of shadow - metre after metre of strangely wet vapour that left a glistening, moist trail of fennel scented liquid in the hands of those that grabbed and clenched the pitch black form, wrenching it out like a length of pre-chewed liquorice from a creature’s throat, or miles upon miles of damp, black hosepipe. 

Curzon was no longer speaking; he was hissing and roaring inarticulately like a bona-fide beast, like the millipede Pacifica had likened him to - his cigar still teetering delicately on his shining teeth that now slathered and dribbled in thick strands of dark saliva.

The gnomes set themselves upon the faces of the other sellers, ripping off masks and latex features, wigs and hats. Nobody was really certain if it was to aid in the investigation or simple thievery. 

Every one of them was like another Curzon; another collection of white, glowing eyes and impressive, overburdened jaws that bit and gnashed at those who got too close, spraying their acidic spit in a desperate attempt to see off their assailants. 

Pacifica’s theory was correct. Curzon, Angus et al were connected - physically connected beyond a link; they were one in the same - coiling up before them and, seemingly, wrapping around them in voice after voice. 

Pubitaur punched Curzon repeatedly in the face while screaming. The other Manotaurs were unsure if it was from sheer testosterone or unadulterated terror, but were all too happy to join in.

Pacifica groaned and held Dipper’s shoulder tighter still. “I… I think I’m gonna puke.”

“What is it?!” Dipper cried out, clenching his head. “What the hell _is_ Curzon?!”

“Fish hydras are even scarier than I imagined,” Mabel whimpered, clenching her stomach.

“That isn’t a fish hydra,” Dipper said. “I don’t know what it is but that isn’t a freaking fish.”

From the centre of the Manotaur’s punching circle, there came a throaty, wheezing chuckle. 

“You don’t get it, do you…?”

Any London accent had long since dissipated from the bizarre monster they had once seen as so amiable. He spoke in a voice that sounded like fingernails scraping down silk; a deep, haunting tone that grated upon the ears - not deep; not high pitched. A strange, echoing drone that stung the eardrums and rattled the skull.

The Manotaurs parted in surprise as Curzon rose upwards, towering before them, two teeth missing from his jaw as he glared at the kids with furious, bright red eyes that seemed to pulsate and quiver in his shadowy form - his eyes and jaw simply floating and writhing in the darkness that made up his pitch black, featureless body. 

Pacifica stared in awe as the enormous, multi-legged creature seemed to swell in size, the walls and structures of the Crawlspace beginning to creak and groan around the entire plaza. 

“No way…” Dipper almost fell to his knees at the sheer magnitude of what developed before him. 

Brick walls began to crumble and fall in towards the square, buildings, staircases, bridges and trees falling to the wayside as more and more of Curzon grew and swelled around them, revealing his true scale - and several more screaming, floating faces - behind him.

The gnomes and Manotaurs, plaidypi and fairies - all yelled in terror and tried to escape the falling bricks and masonry as their marketplace caved in around them. It was carnage. Pipes and cables were revealed as the ceiling fell, hinting towards the human world below, a dull rumbling echoing across the underground space.

The ceiling above them began to fall in, the floor collapsing in to show the creature’s writhing mass and the deep, green, herbal pools that sat deep under Gravity Falls, addled with tree roots and hollows - a veritable rabbit warren that scattered beneath the town, Curzon Cankerblight - or, at least - the creature that _claimed_ to be Curzon Cankerblight - flitting, wrapping and curling between every street, every highway, every sidewalk. 

He was no mere market seller; he was like an artery. A bulging, grotesque grinning artery that travelled the length of everything they knew. 

  
“I’m not just a creature in the Crawlspace, Dipper Pines… I _am_ the Crawlspace.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> Anyway, this story is shaping up quite nicely in my mind and I'm hoping you're all enjoying it. Please do leave comments and kudos; it's a wonderful thing, feedback.  
> Seems this is shaping up to be folks' favourite so far, which is pretty cool. Let's hope it keeps up ;)
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo, my fiancée, and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancée, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	19. The Collapse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

“You get it? Huh?! It’s funny ‘cos marriage is terrible.” Stan cackled out loud at his comedic genius as he leant against his convertible, now on his sixth can of (suitably irished) Pitt cola, trying to raise the mood amongst himself, Soos, Wendy and Mayor Cutebiker. It wasn’t going too well. 

“Maybe we should’ve joined them,” Wendy said as she tried to prevent herself from dozing off in the golf buggy. “It feels pretty weird not knowing what’s going on.”

“Hey, you heard the kids. They wanted to do this themselves, and we know they can. Who am I to intrude? I’ll just slow ‘em down.”

“I just don’t think Pacifica would want Dipper’s ex-obsession getting involved in her ‘being the hero’, that’s all. Dude’s screwed up enough without some kind of crazy drama.” 

Soos looked up with a start. “Dude, Paz and Dipper are dating?”

Wendy stared at Soos with a raised eyebrow. 

“Are you guys always so casual about this stuff?” Tyler finally asked. “This seems like a pretty weird day.”

“Business as usual, slick.” Stan shrugged. “Me and Ford have seen stranger than underground market places. Trust me. You don’t wanna know what’s under Disneyworld.”

“Where _is_ your brother?” 

Stan shrugged again and took a generous chug of soda. “Distracting himself with video games. The guy’s a nerd who’s only just discovering the internet. Gotta give him time with this stuff. Besides, the kids can handle these things.”

The baffled mayor tried to relax in the strange company he had garnered for the night and bring up more casual lines of conversation. “And how are things with the new family member?”

Stan looked at him and then back at No.13 Geron Street. 

“Eh. She’s an oddball. Prissy. But she’s tryin’ to get better and uh… well, I like the kid, y’know? She’s good for the family.” 

“Then what happens after Summer?”

Stan froze. “We’ve uh… not got a plan yet.”

Tyler’s moustache bristled. “At all?”

“I thought about her going out to sea with me and Ford but ah… I dunno. She’s not like Mabel - Mabel’s got that moxy. Pacifica’s more…” Stan gestured inarticulately. “...Stay at home.”

“So she’d go back to Preston?” Cutebiker asked, sipping the Pitt delicately.

“Over my dead body.” Stan snapped back. “The kid’s safe with us.”

Wendy glanced at the building. “Safe?”

“Damned straight.”

It was then that the ground beneath them seemed to shake and quiver - No. 13 beginning to groan and splinter in unison. The relatively unassuming building was now bowing and rolling uncontrollably upon the ground beneath it, trying to stay in one piece as the windows shattered and frames began to cave in upon themselves.

Teal boards snapped away from their frames, screws, nails and joists loosening under the stress of whatever was going on deep inside its foundations. 

“...Safe?” Wendy repeated.

“It’s uh… it’s prolly nothin’.” 

The road began to crack at their feet. A street lamp fell upon the golf cart, ripping through the awning and landing squarely between Wendy and Cutebiker. No. 11 and 15 split away from the building between them. 

“I dunno if that’s nothing, Mr. Pines!” Soos shouted, jumping away from the crack that travelled between his legs. 

The rumbling grew louder, the street shaking, car alarms kicking off across the street, around the block, on the _other side of town_ …

And then stopped. 

“Huh. Mini tremor or something, I guess.” Stan shrugged, going back to his drink. “They’ll be fine.”

**_Crump!_ **

As if on cue, No.13 Geron street leaned forward - and fell into its own footprint, collapsing into nothing more than a pile of plywood boards and rubble. With it, the doorway seemed to disappear entirely, leaving no trace of that fleshy staircase - indeed, no trace of any real structure behind it at all.

No.13 appeared to be nothing more than an empty shell - and now it wasn’t even _that._

The group stared at the flat wooden pile that had once been an unassuming entrance to possibly the greatest anomaly in Gravity Falls history.

Stan looked up and grimaced. “Soos, you said you had another way into this place?”

“I thought you said they’ll be fine?” Wendy chimed in.

“They will be. It’s the blonde I’m worried about.”

Pacifica gripped hold of Dipper firmly, ducking behind him with eyes clenched shut. She had never seen anything so utterly terrifying, so utterly disgusting or so utterly threatening in her life. She was prepared for ghosts by now, prepared for living video games - hell, she was prepared for middle-aged men who wore fake tan and tacky business suits - but she was _not_ prepared for a giant millipede demon, especially one that spat acid. 

Just looking at those hundreds of legs made her feel itchy and uncomfortable. Bugs were gross at the best of times. This one was fifteen feet wide and slick with smokey mucus that smells like liquorice. 

It was just about the worst thing _ever_. 

She glanced at her boyfriend, who said nothing - just stared, with all manner of confusion, bewilderment, awe and outright anger rattling through his head. 

_Curzon was the Crawlspace_. That made more sense than Dipper wanted to admit. He stared up at the creature as it writhed and thrashed against its prospective customers furiously, sending gnomes flying skyward and Manotaurs to the floor. 

Every building, every tunnel, every chamber in the black market was nothing more than a shell. Nothing more than a ground for it to prey upon and profit from the natural (supernatural?) Inbuilt naivety of Gravity Falls residents and creatures.

All under the bizarre facade of a friendly, cockney market seller who lived in a hole.

Every mouth on the creature’s body roared and screamed, spraying corrosive liquid in all directions as the Crawlspace continued to crumble around it - suitably livid at a thousand-year scam being upturned by a few teenagers who should have known better.

If only Grunkle Ford was here. This was beyond crazy. And most irritating was the knowledge that Bill Cipher had known. He had done business down here. If his troops had known, there was no doubt that Bill had.

What had the Pines been missing?! Had this… thing just sat there forever, eating the odd stray gnome or unicorn, sitting under their noses?

It felt personal. He felt personally _annoyed_. Personally affronted by the fact this… the creepy thing had been under his feet for the entire time. For Ford’s entire time. Probably before _Quentin Trembley’s time._

“Dipper!”

_How had he been so stupid to miss this-_

_“DIPPER!”_

“Huh?”

Dipper yelped as he was yanked out of the way of a falling slab of concrete by Pacifica, who practically dragged him into a terrace underneath a building marked ‘42’.

No. 42 would be a charming structure were it not for the skeletal designs carved into every brick and archway. The building was wooden framed, standing resolutely on a series of arches and columns, providing a handy, sheltered catacomb from the world around it. 

It was also, unfortunately, filled with barrels of strange green liquids that smelt like sour apples.

It wasn’t perfect, but for now, it was as good a hiding place as any.

“Will you _stop_ with the damned daydreaming?! Kinda got a situation here!” Pacifica snapped.

“Look, I… I don’t know if I have an answer outside of getting away from here!” Dipper replied, his eyes still broad and his hands clenching his forehead. 

Mabel watched the trashing monster and tapped her lip. “I’m pretty sure getting out of here means he’ll just hunt us down.”

“Mabel’s right. I think Curzon _probably_ has good reason to be a _little bit_ annoyed with us.”

Curzon’s enormous body slammed against the arched bridge that crossed the Crawlspace’s plaza, pulling down the building alongside it only metres away from where the kids stood. It was so close that Pacifica still instinctively jumped back from the falling bricks and dust, clinging to her boyfriend tightly. 

“And I think he’s looking for us, Dipper!” Pacifica yelled, now going beyond basic freakout and into full blown panic. “I’m _not_ up for being crushed by a giant shadow bug, okay?!”

“I’m thinking, I’m thinki-”

What happened next, nobody is really too certain. It’s _possible_ it was a case of Curzon striking another of the buildings inside The Crawlspace, in an effort to destroy the teenagers that had outed him. 

It’s _possible_ that the building fell due to the neighbouring structure suddenly being removed - very abruptly - from its side. 

It’s also _possible_ that it was due to a Manotaur being thrown by the legs closest to Gertrude, the nature-loving old lady, and striking a weight bearing column. 

I mean, technically, it’s _possible_ that the world above them collapsed of its own accord, but we’ll ignore that one. 

In any sense, building No.42 of The Crawlspace promptly began falling to the ground -- and the floor of the world above was all too eager to follow. What was once a fairly pleasant cobblestone town square was now filled with rubble, dominated by a giant black and blue vaporous 200-legged creature - now, those mountains of rubble were being added to by one of the largest sources of shelter; collapsing directly onto the three teenagers underneath.

Pacifica screamed (and, in hindsight, really wish she hadn't. _Embarrassing._ ) and ran as fast as she could - before she even had time to realise the twins had stayed still. 

The thundering crash seemed to create a deadly silence as Pacifica froze and realised what she’d just done. She stood and stared at the now motionless wreckage that stood in front of her - No Dipper, no Mabel - just piles of concrete, stone and lumber. 

She backed up against the wall fearfully and tried her damnedest not to start hyperventilating.

_Oh no, oh no, oh nonono-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> We're on the home stretch though - strap in, chaps!
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo - my fiancée, who has also helped with a lot of the major story beats in the next few chapters - and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	20. The Cavalry Arrives

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

Stan, Soos, Tyler and Wendy hastily navigated Soos’s preferred entrance of the redwood staircase, stalked cautiously through tunnels, then ran into the plaza, ready and raring for a fight - before immediately recoiling in horror at the sight of what greeted them.

Soos had opted to carry Tyler on his shoulders. The little man was having a uh… a bit of a difficult time. 

The blue-hued smoke and vapour, the enormous black creature of thrashing shadows and teeth, the screaming disarray of gnomes, fairies and Manotaurs, the collapsing buildings and fallen masonry… They had run head first into sheer, adulterated _chaos_. 

“Holy paloopa!” Stan shouted, instinctively throwing his arms back to protect those that had joined him. “What the H _is_ that thing?!”

“No way.” Tyler gasped. “Is… is that… I shook hands with that guy!”

Tyler broke into a scream - only for Soos to clap his hand over the little biker’s mouth.

They all fell quiet at the sight of the blonde in purple - standing in front of them, her back turned.

Pacifica stood, motionless, staring at the pile of wreckage that now sat in the place of No.42. She barely even acknowledged the fact Stan had arrived - tears, slowly, beginning to trickle down her cheeks. 

“Pacifica? What’s going on?”

“...Gr..grunkle Stan…”

She turned to face Stan, Wendy et al and immediately ran into the old man, squeezing him tightly. 

“I-I-I didn’t mean to! The building came down and I jumped out of the way but they- they were still in there and I should’ve grabbed them and-”

Stan looked up at the wreckage of No.42 - then up at Curzon. 

“Don’t know how much credit you can take for that, Blondie.”

“What if Dipper and Mabel are- are- are-” She sniffled and held him tighter - momentarily forgetting any sign of revulsion for the man’s questionable hygiene or clearly mothball-coated clothes. 

“Hey, listen, kiddo.” Stan held Pacifica’s chin and gave his best reassuring smile. “Trust me. Those two are resilient. A Pines kid bounces, y’know? Sit back sweetie, I promise - everything’ll be fine.”

Pacifica looked up at him, her makeup now smearing down her face. That’s how you could _tell_ it was serious. Pacifica Northwest just didn’t allow for these imperfections. 

And...well, Stan was a _great_ liar by nature. 

The group tried to stay out of view and began digging frantically through the wreckage, only for a trail of blue, burning phlegm to fly past them.

“No you don’t! Those brats are mine!”

“Over my dead body!” Stan shouted back furiously, throwing a nearby brick straight into one of Curzon’s glowing, red eyes. 

Curzon howled like a banshee, his eye sealing shut in his writhing, living shadows of flesh - seemingly melting away from existence.

Pacifica looked away, trying to hold back her urge to throw up again. Everything about Curzon made her feel nausea - something about him was just naturally _sickening_. 

“Your dead body? That can be arranged.” The monster hissed in return, landing on its hundreds of feet and crawling towards them - hundreds of scampering, talon like feet rattling across the floor as it drew closer to them, that familiar smell of fennel and herbs wafting with every curling, frisking tendril of smoke and vapour. The battered gnomes and Manotaurs parted, no longer sure how to fight back against the creature - feeling fearful. Cautious. Scared and bewildered.

Even for Gravity Falls, Curzon Cankerblighter seemed particularly _insidious_ and _weird_.

Wendy booted what little of Curzon that came close to her as she kept digging, maintaining her cool - as best as she could, under the circumstances - throwing off countless pieces of rubble and stone in her search for the twins. Even when Gertrude’s screaming, red eyed maw snapped at the Corduroy girl, it was met by a simple kick to the face. 

Wendy was not interested in giving in to any of this crap. If the little dude and his sister were in there, it would be Mrs. Corduroy’s little girl who dug them out. To hell with the liquorice smelling creep that looked like it came from a bad anime. 

Cutebiker just ducked behind the rough and ready girl in flannel. He was… clearly not cut from the same cloth as the rest of the extended Pines clan. 

Pacifica felt paralysed. She stood there hopelessly, watching them burrow into the piles of plaster and stone, writhing her hands together. She was freaking out, she was _so_ freaking out and she _hated_ it and didn’t know what to do. 

Curzon curled closer to Pacifica and hissed into her ear; the cool smoke that flowed from him sent a chill down her neck as his voice scraped into her head. “You can feel it, can’t you Pacifica? The pain and the agony of guilt, coursing through your veins. I can see them under there, you know… they’re suffering. Their bones are crushed. They’re bleeding…”

Pacifica’s eyes filled with tears as she tried to shut him out, watching speechlessly as rubble, bricks and lumber were lifted and thrown away by the group. She felt helpless. She didn’t know how to help, and she was _scared_ to help. She was genuinely unsure, at this point, how _much_ she could listen to Curzon’s words. It _hurt_. The lack of certainty here was the worst damned thing she had ever felt. 

The feeling she might be responsible for this - it was beyond what she had prepared for yesterday morning, and at this point, beyond what her advancing fatigue had prepared her for. 

She snapped back into reality, twitched... and shouted inarticulately with sheer anger, promptly planting her tiny, feminine fist straight into Curzon’s remaining good eye - almost as a reflex. Her fist squelched into the oddly sticky red membrane of the creature’s remaining eyeball, deep into the slick, smokey mucus that made his face.

_Her manicure was ruined already. To hell with it._

She unclenched her fist and dug in her nails as hard as he could, prompting a loud, ear-splitting scream from the creature as pangs of pain travelled down its multiple brains and heads. The enormous, towering beast threw itself backwards, recoiling like a hosepipe under pressure - howling in pain and now blinded from its ‘prime head’ - leaving the other faces along its slick, curling body confused and disorientated - slamming themselves against the structures that surrounded them.

Pacifica looked in disgust at her mucus spattered hand, still gripping a soft, gelatinous mass that was once Curzon’s left eye. She wanted to scream. She felt fit to puke even considering the fact her fingers had just dug into that… stuff. 

Was that, like, shadow creature blood or something?!

She shuddered as she wiped the miscoloured slime on her jacket - trying to forget the fact _absolutely any element of that whatsoever had ever happened._

“Nice punch, sweetie.” Stan grinned. “Now, while he’s out of whack, think about what you want to do with him. When I was boxing, you always took the spare moment to punch under the belt. Me, I’d start with that gas pipe up there. Yeah?”

Pacifica blinked and narrowed her eyes up at the large, metal pipe that ran through the dirt above them - now fully exposed by the collapsing masonry, shaken loose by the monstrosity ahead of them. 

“How am I meant to get up-”

“Shh!”

Pacifica glared at Wendy. She was _not_ the most acclimated to being shushed - then, she heard it, from inside the piles of rubble - echoing slightly, like a voice from inside a pipe or hollow structure.

A quiet groaning. A quiet, _familiar_ , battered and beaten groaning. _One that sounded oddly like a whiney dork in a vest._

Curious how, after living with The Pines for a few weeks, Pacifica had managed to pinpoint _that_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> We're on the home stretch though - strap in, chaps!
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo - my fiancée, who has also helped with a lot of the major story beats in the next few chapters - and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	21. Resilience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The extended family ran over to the wreckage while Curzon Cankerblight was wildly, madly, _maniacally_ just about flattening the rest of the marketplace around them - the entire plaza now emptying out as the creatures finally made the conscious decision to leave. Within time, it was just that immense, millipedic creature and his frenzied, blinded screaming - and, down below, the Pines family - grouped together and clearing the last of No.42 from the source of the echoed, hollow groans and sounds of struggle below. 

There, below one of many large piles of bricks, sat two wood and metal framed barrels - still largely in one piece. 

The family leaned in, not entirely sure what to expect. 

Realistically, they should have _at least_ expected the minor heart attack Mabel gave them. 

“HELLO!” Mabel shouted with a grin on her face - cut, bruised and battered with a bit of a nosebleed. “We jumped in some barrels and got covered in slime!”

Dipper groaned and pulled himself out. “I think I… I think I broke my arm.”

“He did. This one!” Mabel promptly began poking Dipper’s fractured arm with merciless persistence, her brother whining and begging her to stop. 

Crushed bones, bleeding - Curzon hadn’t been _lying_ , per se - but the battered Pines twins were very much alive, and, all told, not exactly suffering. Unless you count Dipper being prodded ruthlessly by his sister. 

“You had us worried like hell!” Wendy grinned, hugging Dipper tightly, while Stan lifted Mabel clear of the putrid, sour contents of her wooden safety barrier. 

Dipper was so dazed and clouded by worry over his broken bone, he barely even recognised the fact his girlfriend was standing behind them. He wrapped his good arm around Wendy and closed his eyes happily. Holding her as tight as he dared. 

_And trying his damndest not to smell her hair or snuggle into her or-_

Wendy let go of him promptly. She was no slouch when it came to the kids' crush on her. Oh no, she knew all too well what was happening, and shoved Dipper towards Pacifica without a moment’s hesitation. “You want cuddling, dude, you’ve a girlfriend who’s been worried sick!”

Dipper stumbled and promptly came face to face with a teary-eyed Pacifica, staring at her beaten up boyfriend. She threw herself at him, fighting back tears for what seemed like the hundredth time today, squeezing the breath of the weedy thirteen year old. 

“P-Paz-”

“Shut up, Dippingsauce.”

Dipper stumbled and wheezed, wrapping his arm tightly around her and giving a broad smile, promptly kissing her on the cheek and burying his head against her. That - _that_ was something he was pretty sure he could stay with forever. 

He tried to lift his rather useless fractured arm around her and failed miserably, opting to just squeeze her a little closer. 

Pacifica sniffled as she held him. “ _I was so worried I was so worried I was so worried-_ ” 

Tears trickled down her cheeks, ruining her already smeared makeup and dripping onto Dipper’s shoulder as she held onto him, flooded with relief and emotion at the fact they had actually managed to _bring him back to her_ \- from a freaking _collapsed building._

It felt like a _miracle_. 

The family watched, smiling, rather taken in by the heartfelt reunion. Even _Mabel_ knew better than piping up during the moment. 

Saying that Pacifica did have something to whisper in Dipper’s flushed, red ear as she held onto his waist. “If you ever hug Wendy before me _again_ , I’ll kill you.” 

“G-got it.” Dipper whispered back, nervously. 

He uh… he _probably_ deserved that.

Soos leaned in and took a close look at Dipper’s rather battered-looking arm, treating it as he would a furniture repair job. 

“I don’t want to break up this touching reunion, dudes, but I think we should get this thing fixed up.”

“Do you even know how to treat a broken bone?”

“Sure thing, bro. Just need some duct tape.”

Pacifica wiped her eyes again and afforded herself a little chuckle. 

Okay. Okay, collect yourself, Paz - wait. No, _no. Pacifica_. Okay. Collect yourself, _Pacifica_ \- get a _grip_. Time to move.

She was _beginning_ to process the fact she’d _punched_ a monster and was not feeling _any more_ comfortable with the fact. She’d scold Dipper properly later. For now, her thoughts were entirely fixed upon finishing this hellish day-and-night stint of complete madness she’d been thrown into by a tacky little snowglobe. 

Her eyes wandered up to the gas main that Stan had tried to push her towards. It must be what? Eighty feet? A hundred feet? It was. .. no insubstantial thing to scale. Pacifica had gotten a little bit taller, sure - and she did pride herself on being a little taller than Dipper, not including that fluffy...quiff _thing_ he called a hairstyle. But getting up there still felt more like a mountain.

She furrowed her brow, looking at the fracturing buildings and rattling pipes that layered up to the ceiling - the rocking, swaying frames that were once the Plaza’s shops and stalls. Maybe even homes. 

Curzon’s _shell_. People were living, working and buying in Curzon’s _shell_. They were going about their weird little lives in the exoskeleton of some kind of liquorice multi-legged demon snowglobe seller and they didn’t even _know_. 

_Eugh_.

She shuddered and glanced at Mabel, explaining her ordeal to Grunkle Stan with no shortage of enthusiasm - save the occasional cough of plaster and concrete fragments. 

Pacifica sighed. She had thrown herself down a fleshy corridor twice, she had confronted people, she had smashed things up, she had punched a monster and she was about to do something ridiculously stupid and compulsive.

_She was becoming more like a Pines every day._

She ran up to hyperactive Pines twin and grabbed the grappling hook. “Mabel, if you had to climb to the ceiling, where would you start?”

Mabel blinked. 

“ _Now_ , Mabel!” the blonde snapped, cocking the thing in a thinly veiled attempt to look impressive.

“Uh.. you want to start going as high as you can vertically, then try and get to the other side, like a zig-zag-”

“Great. Thanks.”

“Wait! I have diagrams if you need them, Paz! They’re made of Macaroni-”

**_Pumpf!_ **

Pacifica shot the Grappling hook clumsily and yelped as it pulled her in, onto one of the crumbling buildings beside her - a strangely Mediterranean looking Inn with terracotta walls. She hit the surface rather painfully with a hollow thud and winced, gripping hold of the closest ledge and taking a deep breath.

 _Whoa_.

_She did it! Pacifica Pines, Grappling hook expert! I mean, hell, if Mabel can do it, why shouldn’t she, right? It’s nothing. At this rate, she’ll be going on adventures by herself without even needing the tw-_

It was here that Pacifica made the fatal mistake of looking down - where the body of the Crawlspace’s multi-legged overlord screamed, still thrashing wildly, still blinded and still on a path of destruction. 

It didn't particularly help that Pacifica was now discovering a certain sense of vertigo. 

_Great._

“Ah’ll be seein’ ye in the fiery depths, lassie!” the face that had once been Angus shouted, spitting his blue phlegm with abandon as he crashed against the building Pacifica was using as a starting base.

The building shook and began to fall in on itself, rumbling to the floor. She screamed and gripped hold of the hook, trying desperately to plan her next move as quickly as she could. 

_Now or never, Paz, now or nev-_

**_Pumpf!_ **

Another clumsy shot led her to the leaning roof of a building halfway across the plaza.

Deep breaths. That _drop_ was _not_ something she liked to entertain. But uh… hey, she’d gotten this far, right? Right. Okay, okay, this was working, this wasn’t too bad, she could do this-

“She can’t do this!” Dipper stammered, breaking into a panic.

“Yeah! I’m the grappling hook expert and her technique is _all_ wrong.”

“We need to help her, she could get hurt! She practically breaks down when she gets a bruise!”

“Whoa there, dudes.” Wendy grinned, pushing Dipper back down. “You’ve already gotten hurt. Maybe it’s her turn.”

“Besides.” Grunkle Stan said. “She’s just gotta get up there and knock the pipe off.”

Tyler watched silently as Pacifica attempted to scale the underground enclave - then whipped his head around to Stan. “Wait, You’re going to blow the place up?!”

“Na.”

“Oh, thank goodness, I-”

“She’s gonna blow it up.”

Stan grinned, hands on his hips as he watched his new member of the family persevere against just about every fear and anxiety she knew. 

There was potential in the kid yet. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> We're on the home stretch though - strap in, chaps!
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo - my fiancée, who has also helped with a lot of the major story beats in the next few chapters - and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	22. Finest Hour

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

“That’s my girl!” Stan shouted as loud as he could. “Show that… uhm.. Guy? Who’s boss!”

“She’s not even your girl, dude.” Soos put in. 

“Shut up, Soos.”

“Yessir.”

Pacifica balanced precariously on one of the wooden beams that stood between her and crumbling concrete, trying to remember about 8 years of gymnastics training (that she had spent much of her life trying to get the hell away from. Sports suck. If it’s not minigolf, it sucks.)

The building below her was rapidly devolving into a teetering frame, one of the less articulate, red eyed faces stood below, screaming towards the thirteen year old above it as it sliced through structure after structure.

“Jump, kid!” Stan shouted. “Jump!”

Pacifica blinked and turned to him - a second she should have used jumping clear of the beam plummeting towards that screaming, glowing maw below. She screamed and shot clumsily in the first direction her arm met, leaving her dangling from a muddy overhang on the ceiling above them.

“Oof!” She grunted as the cable pulled taught, nearly taking her shoulders with it.

She puffed and panted, trying to get her nerves together. 

_ Don’t look down, don’t look do- Oh god, she was pretty sure the thing was trying to spit at her... _

The Northwest heir stared up at the grapple, clawed deep into the clodding Oregon dirt. She wasn’t sure how thick that stuff was, but at this point, anything further away from that… thing seemed like a positive option.

She pulled the trigger and let it drag her upwards, desperately hoping that hook didn’t come unstuck.

_ Deep breaths deep breaths deep breaths…  _

She wheezed in relief as she reached the top of the cable, and had to dig her hands into the very same dirt, scrambling up onto the ledge.

Pacifica Northwest, usually so pristine and perfect, was filthy; head to toe in thick smears of damp clay and hard, gritty rock soil. At this point, it was properly in her hair, in her ears, in her fingernails…

_ Eugh. _

She wrenched the hook free and shot inarticulately again - this time, to no avail.

The grapple bopped against one of the buildings and promptly brought it down - the structural integrity apparently not quite up to the force of a hook being shot from a gun.

_ Great. _

She looked around frantically for another way - another, more solid foot hold in her climbing wall to the surface. The Plaza was practically obliterated; nothing more than piles of rubble, at this point. She blew her hair out of her face and huffed as her eyes scanned the space. To her view, all that was left was knocking out that pipe and starting the gas leak, as Stan had suggested. 

The problem was she didn’t really know how to do that and _ get out of there in one piece. _

She could see the Pines watching her; and, frankly, she didn’t appreciate it. This was in no way her finest hour. Look at the  _ state  _ of her clothes and her make up! Look at her  _ hair _ ! She looked gross, she looked a mess, she looked  _ hopelessly _ inexperienced and she felt about ready to give in.

Curzon thrashed against the streaks of clay on the other side of the plaza, the multiple faces trying to direct him towards the blonde as he continued to scream and wail like a banshee, spitting his acidic blue saliva.

Suddenly, he spun into a 180 and flew towards Pacifica herself, colliding with the earth like a pneumatic hammer. 

**_Wham!_ **

Pacifica screamed and scrambled out of the way, gripping hold of the walls.  _ Now  _ she was hyperventilating. 

Dipper chewed his shirt as he watched the entire endeavour take place. Mabel was taking polaroids, as was her way, and Stan grinning like a proud father watching his adopted child commit their first act of wanton destruction. 

Which, well, wasn’t  _ too  _ far from the truth.

**_Wham!_ **

Curzon continued his blinded assault, slamming himself against the muddy pit that surrounded them - rattling more masonry and stone from the ceiling above them, exposing more thick Oregon soil and exposed pipework. A particularly large roundel of concrete - at least a foot thick - fell to the floor with a horrendous crash, hitting one of the rearmost faces along his body with a grotesque squelch.

Everyone grimaced and looked away as Curzon broke into an even louder, ground shaking roar of pain. Pacifica was pretty sure she could hear car alarms beginning to set off on the surface.

Wendy looked down at that giant, round, broken slab, splattered in it was with discoloured Curzon entrails, while everybody else looked away, and raised an eyebrow. It was covered in a rivet marks - slightly rusted, burnished. Like it had been attached to something metallic. It looked like a giant  _ cork _ or a  _ plug _ . Her eyes looked up to the area around the gas main.

“Does anybody have a phone with decent zoom, or a telescope, or ...something?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Let me get my emergency telescope.” Stan rolled his eyes.

There was a pause.

“Here.” He grinned, slipping it out of his jacket. 

“ _ Of course _ you have that.” Tyler sighed with exasperation, his head buried into his hands. 

“I’m a seaman, short-shorts. ‘Course I do.”

“A  _ what _ ?”

“Eh. Forget it.”

Wendy held the telescope to her eye and took a stick of gum from her pocket as she scanned the area - followed by a broad grin. She held her hand to her mouth and shouted. “Paz! Swing left! Just swing for the pipe!”

Pacifica’s eyes widened as she looked down at Wendy, staring in the leftmost direction and seeing literally no avenue out of there. “Wh..what?!”

“Swing left!! Swing left and knock the pipe out!”

“But if I do that, I’ll just-”

“Just do it! Trust me!”

The blonde gulped, still wedging herself against the wall - trying to decipher whatever Wendy had put together. Great.  _ Wendy  _ of all people wanted to tell her how to save the day. Wendy Corduroy, who Dipper had just tried to  _ cuddle _ .

She winced. Trusting Dipper’s ex-obsession, no matter how unrequited that obsession  _ was _ , was not something she wanted to do today, and she’d already had to confront that more than once. Pacifica Northwest was still someone pretty prone to holding grudges, and still someone pretty prone for...well, being a bit petty. 

She tried to stop twisting her lip and glaring, and she had listened to Wendy’s little lecture as best as she could but…

Goddammit.

Fine. 

She watched as Curzon frittered around the demolished marketplace, trying to find Pacifica - who stayed just out of eyeline from the other faces. With no more buildings left for him to tear down, it was fair to say even a colossal creature such as him was likely to start tiring. Besides, part of him seemed to be completely pinned under that enormous slab of concrete.

Pacifica looked back up at the pipe.

_ Fine.  _

“Get out of here, you guys!” She shouted.

“She’s gonna do it.” Wendy grinned.

“Prolly time we get out of here then.” Stan grinned, hefting Dipper onto his shoulder.

“ _ Ow, ow, arm- _ wait, what’s Pacifica doing?”

“Blowing up the joint.”

“What?!”

“Sheesh, Dippy, I know a building landed on your head but keep it together, huh?”

“No way, Stan, put me down! I need to-”

“She’s gotten this far, kid. She can handle it. Besides, if I put you down how are you gonna get up there?”

Dipper stared up at his girlfriend as she positioned herself for her next swing. 

“See you on the other side, Pacifica!” Wendy yelled. “You’ve got this!”

“Yeah!” Mabel joined in. “Blow the creepy worm dude up!”

“I’m really not sure about this!” Tyler shouted.

“Ah, shaddap, Mayor. You’re insured, aintcha?”

“Stanley, you can’t be serious! I can’t believe any of this is happening!”

“Dude, you should see Mabel’s scrapbook. This is just like a normal tuesday.” Soos grinned.

Dipper’s brow furrowed. His eyes darted back and forth. His heart was in his throat. He took a deep breath and decided to forget about the potential embarrassment.

“I love you!” Dipper shouted at the top of his voice, pointing almost accusingly. “Don’t you  _ dare  _ die!”

Pacifica froze and looked down at him, her cheeks flushed and a smile crawling across her face - trying to ignore the cooing of approval from Mabel, who was now doing a little celebration dance while running simultaneously.

Y’know what? 

She could do this.

She was a frickin’ _ hero’s _ girlfriend. 

The Pines family was soon out of view, down one of many tunnels leading to the Crawlspace’s exists in the Oregon Forest. She watched them until she was certain there was no chance of Mabel running back to grab a gross bug soda or something, took a deep breath and swung. 

Curzon was still howling in agony. Having one of your heads crushed by a half ton of concrete will do that to people. 

Well, it’d kill  _ most  _ people, but in this case, well - Curzon wasn’t even a person. it was probably just like,  _ really, really painful.  _

_ She had her moment.  _

Pacifica shot the hook towards the gas main and grinned as it flew around the rusted pipe - causing it to grind loudly as the metal scraped its way across the oxidised surface. She was getting pretty good at this. She figured that there probably weren’t many repair men coming up to The Crawlspace to swap out old pipes. That made sense, right?

It would just be a case of trying to get the thing leaking. 

The hook pulled her up to the pipeline. It took only one quick movement to sit astride the giant pipeline and take a closer look. She gave it a kick, and, as expected, it didn’t respond outside of a hollow clang. She grunted as she tried to turn the valve, but nothing happened. 

Great.

Just aside it, she saw exactly what Wendy had spotted - there, no longer plugged by solid concrete, was a manhole. A metal tube with a rusted, filthy ladder to Geron Street.

Sure, it made her cringe to even consider scrambling her way up a tunnel like some kind of sewer rat - but she had been down one that drooled and coughed up squirrels  _ twice  _ today. 

It was a… Lesser of two evils. 

She fixed her eyes back down to that precarious gas pipe she was perching across, peppered as it was with rust and dents. She could hear it, faintly - that weird rumbling sound that gas pipelines seemed to make, a sort of echoing growl that felt like a disaster waiting to happen. 

_ Whoa, Pacifica, hang on - you’re basically sitting on a bomb.  _

_ Not the time, Pacifica. _

_ Pacifica, you’re sitting on a bomb, there is no better time to realise you’re sitting on a bomb. _

_ Shut up. I’ve just gotta do this.  _

_ For what? A bunch of poor people! _

_ And my boyfriend! _

_ Who cuddled that damned Redhead! _

_...Great. I’m going crazy.  _

She tried to silence her thoughts and slammed her boot into the valve, causing more gas to rush through the pipe and… literally nothing else. She wasn’t going to try punching the damned thing, what was the point?

No, it was time for her to use one of her greatest talents. 

_ Sass.  _

“Curzon!” She clawed a chunk of dirt from above her and threw it at him. “Over here, you overgrown pool noodle!”

Curzon hissed and spun to face her, spitting his foul blue phlegm at her. Pacifica yelped and scooted back as the acidic substance flew past her. 

“Missed! Try again before I get the bug spray, creep!”

Another glob of blue spit flew by her, almost brushing the tip of her nose. 

_ Ew, Ew, Ew, Pacifica, stop what are you doing this is so gross- _

“Wow, Curzon, you are the  _ worst _ at this! What’s wrong, cat got your eyes?... Oh wait.” She gave a smug grin. “Guess that makes me a cat.”

Another slime ball flew up, splattered onto the pipe’s valve and began to fizz and bubble. She watched as the first layer of rust was eaten up by the corrosive substance, smoking gently and powdering, dropping little clouds of bright orange dust.

“Oh noooo, my finest shirt sleeve… Try again if you think you can do better, dork!”

By now, the creature had lost all of its accent, lost any jovial nature - and had lost the entirety of its patience. Still pinned down by a good ton of concrete, it could only spit, hiss and roar at the impertinent young girl that dared to expose him - dared to ruin the greatest scam Gravity Falls had ever  _ seen _ . 

“You might think you're smart, Northwest - but you're nothing without the Pines. You’re just a pathetic prissy little rich girl, being validated by a family of heroes!”

He snorted, filled his enormous mouth with neon blue mucus and spat. 

Another thick, gelatinous booger, at least the size of Pacifica’s head, flew up and hit the valve square on with a sickening splutch. Pacifica tried to restrain herself from wanting to puke, and watched as it began to eat into the metal with a similar urgency.

The fizzling lasted a little longer - and, this time, the gas began to spurt through in a gentle, pressurised burst - blowing out the little bit of metal piping. 

_ Hisssssssssssss _

There it was. 

The blonde smiled at her own little achievement - then shot the grapple towards the little metal walkway and its handlebars. She was still  _ far  _ from the expert Mabel could claim to be, and her aim was lousy - but It caught after the third or fourth try. She grunted as she gave it a firm tug, trying to make sure it was at least solid enough to take her. It was a leap of faith, to be sure. But this time, Pacifica wasn't interested in the odds. Odds and coincidences had done nothing for her. She was only interested in getting out of there and back to the family she had saved the skin of. 

_ At the very least, they might let her have a few hours in a bubble bath or something.  _

She cautiously wiped her hands on her dress, by now completely beyond any feelings of preserving her clothing, gripped the grappling gun firmly, and swung, while Curezon kept spitting and horking up unpleasant blobs of bright blue sludge at her.

She scrambled up the ladder as quickly as she could - and, just as she reached the top handrail, a firm hand grabbed hers.

She looked up at the beaming faces of Stan, Soos, Wendy, Dipper and Mabel, crowded around the manhole.

“Up you come, kid.” Stan grinned, lifting her up. “Nice job.”

Curzon kept spitting and hissing mercilessly, his eardrum rattling voice echoing across the crawl space and up that narrow little passage to the street. Pacifica looked down, able to see the blinded, furious, creature below.

“You’re just a worthless little rich girl pretending to be someone she isn't! Dipper Pines is the boy that turns the wheels in this town! You’re nothing, Northwest! Nothing!”

“You wanna do the honours?” Stan asked as he pulled out a box of matches.

Pacifica looked at them, back at him, then beamed.

“Hey! Ugly!” She shouted. “You’re right, I  _ am  _ nothing without the Pines. But y’know what’s great about Dipper and I?”

“I’ll kill you, Pacifica Northwest! I’ll rip you apart! I’ll curse every single thing you love and care for-”

“Ugh. The actual answer is that we’re a  **_perfect match_ ** .”

She struck the match on the packet, then set the entire box alight and dropped it down the manhole. Soos scraped the lid back over with his foot and dusted his hands. “There, dudes.”

He looked up to see the entire extended family wedged into his pickup truck with fearful stares.

“Uh, Soos? Might wanna shake your hams, huh?”

“Oh, oh yeah, right. Sorry, Mr. Pines.”

The large hairless man ran to the truck and stepped on it - the vehicle screeched, swayed on its rear tires then sped off down Geron street. 

“How long does gas usually take to explode?” Mabel asked.

“Eh, depends on how much gas there is in there.” Stan shrugged.

“Oh, dudes, trust me. I’ve been to, like, Taco Bell so many times, and it never gets better. It’ll take like a few minutes, but goes right thr-”

Dipper and Mabel stared out of the rear window as an enormous explosion ripped through the entirety of Geron Street - buildings, asphalt, stone and brick flying skyward as a huge crater was burst open in the middle of Gravity Falls. 

“I’m surprised the mayor even let us do that.” Dipper mumbled.

“Oh yeah, he uh… didn’t.” Stan shrugged. “He’s tied up in the broom cupboard at the shack.”

“...Great.” The kid in the lumberjack hat sighed and looked to his girlfriend, who was a bit busy closing her eyes and trying to erase about two days’ worth of mental scarring.

His eyes fixed on her adoringly as he took one of her clay smothered hands. “You’re awesome.”

“Just doing my job, Dippingsauce.” Pacifica smiled, exhaling deeply and shifting a little closer to him.

“What job’s that?” Dipper smiled, resting his head against hers.

“Keeping your butt out of trouble.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> The inevitable has taken place and I'm now working once again following the COVID-19 Lockdown, so as expected chapters are likely to slow somewhat. Turns out that when you're working writer, writing for leisure can be pretty difficult. 
> 
> We're on the home stretch though - strap in, chaps!
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo - my fiancée, who has also helped with a lot of the major story beats in the next few chapters - and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	23. Like a Sailor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

The rest of the day was dominated by Pacifica’s bubble bath. Willingly so. She laid back in the hot water quietly, taking a deep, relaxing breath and inhaling an oversaturated blend of lavender, soap and incense. Clearing her lungs. Cleaning her still filthy, clay addled skin. Relaxing. Trying to do absolutely nothing and rest up her weak, bruised limbs.

God, what a couple of days it had been. She was ridiculously proud of herself, of course, but that roughly balanced with god knows how much trauma.

Hours past, but she could have done with it feeling twenty times longer. For a brief time, there was no concerns about dirty tiles or rampant pigs or the leaking faucet over the sink. It was just Pacifica and her thoughts.

She knew that the future was still uncertain. There had been no alleviation to that. No solution. There might never be a solution that’s perfect. For her, perfect would be speeding up time, marrying Dipper Pines and living in the forest peacefully. No kids, no drama, just adventures with his dorky science stuff and her running a profitable diner. 

Obviously that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

For her, perfect would be an idyllic life wherein she didn’t have to, like, revolve around the constantly disappointing adults that raised her into privilege without giving her  _ anything to do with it.  _

_ Hell, she’d been awesome today. She was swinging around and blowing stuff up like a proper action hero. She’d been like an adventurer.  _

By the time Pacifica was bathed, redressed and had her hair back in order, it was already reaching twilight. She finally felt freaking clean, freaking calm and her hands had stopped shaking. 

She sighed happily as she sat back on the bright pink sheets of her bed, painting her fingernails and contentedly pretending everything was normal, comfortable and less… tumultuous in her head. And contentedly pretending she hadn’t just blown up half of Geron Street to kill a giant millipede called Curzon.

It wasn’t an easy job but the Pines were specialists in pretending everything could be sorted out. What did she have to worry?

Besides, chances are Geron Street was owned by her Dad. Not her problem. 

Mabel popped her head through the door and grinned. “Hey, Paz, Dipper’s back from the hospital. And the Grunkles want to talk to you!”

“You seem unusually calm.”

“I stole some vitamins from the hospital!”

“...Great. You doing okay?”

“I’m totally perfineeeee, superdooblegood-”

Pacifica blinked. 

“Ignore her.” Dipper shouted up the stairs. “They were just mints.”

“They were not!” Mabel shouted gleefully. “I’m totally off my rocker!”

“That I can agree on.” Pacifica smiled, blowing her nails dry as she got up and followed her surrogate sister in law down the stairs. 

Dipper stood at the base, his arm in a cast and sling and his bruising looking… well, literally no better. Being the teenager he was, he couldn’t resist showing it off a bit. “The Doctor said I could have lost my arm!”

“No he didn’t.” Mabel laughed. “He said Dipper should stop falling down holes.”

Dipper’s brow furrowed. “I could have lost it! A building collapsed on us!”

“But the doctor doesn’t know that.” Mabel replied snootily, sticking her tongue out. 

“How bad is the damage in town…?” Pacifica winced.

“Eh. Couple of shops destroyed, a car was found stuck in the cliff face, pretty sure a couple of gnomes are in orbit…” Stan mumbled.

“We wiped Tyler’s memories of the evening.” Ford smiled, scratching is head absently. “It seemed… necessary, considering the um… unusual situation you plunged him into.” 

Pacifica chuckled nervously. “Poor guy.”

“He doesn’t know that.” Ford winked. “Morality is a bit of a grey area when it comes to justice, Miss Northwest. Now, come on - we need to have a chat.”

“Ford, stop trying to pretend you’re a superhero. You’re like that creep in the spider pyjamas. Spider-creep or whatever.”

“Quiet, Stanley.”

Dipper and Mabel watched as the two grunkles led Pacifica into the kitchen and closed the door.

“Coffee?” Stanford smiled. “Freeze-dried, I’m afraid.”

“Thanks.” Pacifica replied, somewhat suspiciously. “What’s going on?”

“Look, kid, about this morning…” Stan started. 

“I know Stanley made an idle remark about you joining us on our… adventures.”

“Yeah, on the Stan O’War, y’know?”

Pacifica sipped her coffee and sighed. “And you think that’s dumb and unrealistic?”

“Of course it is.” Ford chuckled. “It’s also a great idea. After what Stanley saw today, he thinks you’d fit right in.”

Ford paused and raised an eyebrow as he glanced at Pacifica’s perfectly applied fingernails, her pristine clothing, her jewellery… 

“...More or less, that is.” 

“Yeah, I mean-” Stan cleared his throat. “I don’t know many kids with the moxy you have, blondie. You might be a bit prissy and clean but you’ve got that… you’ve got that get up an’ go. You swing up there over that, you can swing on a boat’s sails, you get me?”

He took a big sip of his coffee and grinned. 

“Besides, you do make better coffee than Sixer. Counts for something out at sea, believe me.”

Pacifica giggled to herself and looked at the black liquid in her mug. “I’ll think about it.”

“Please do.” Ford grinned. “From the way Stan described you this morning, it sounds like you’re a born sailor.” 

Stan grinned and pulled out a battered little sailor’s hat from the box of junk he had picked up at Thrifty’s. 

“Agreed.” Stan beamed, popping it down on her head. “Like a sailor, Pacifica.”

Pacifica looked up at the hat on her head, at the two brothers with their coffee cups and warm, honest smiles… 

And smiled back.

“I’ll definitely think about it.”

She wasn’t sure how enamoured she was with the idea of living on a boat, out on the high seas - but she was enamoured with the idea of belonging. Right now, the prospect was the best damned proposal she’d ever heard. She felt overjoyed, not just at the fact they had offered it to her - but the fact they thought she’d be  _ good  _ at it.

She had come out of one of the weirdest, most over the top, ridiculous adventures of her life almost completely unscathed. Apart from her boyfriend breaking his arm and her make up getting ruined.

It felt good to say she got out of that. Her and her family. 

Pacifica Pines - Future Pirate.

_ Hell yeah.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Proofed by the awesome Kyo - my fiancée, who has also helped with a lot of the major story beats in the next few chapters - and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


	24. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the events of Big Bu$ine$$, Pacifica Northwest has finally given up on her family name - but what could happen after Summer's end is beginning to evoke a sense of dread.
> 
> When a trip with her new family to the Gravity Falls Mall results in them taking home a mysterious artefact from Gravity Falls' crooked past, the people she cares about most begin to act strangely.
> 
> It falls to her - and only her - to get to the bottom of another sinister tale at the core of the town.
> 
> In this continuation of Alex Hirsch's acclaimed series, dive into another crazy summer in the world of Gravity Falls - and the runaway pairing that fans are calling "Okay!"

Pacifica had also been the first to sign Dipper’s cast - with her favourite ruby red lipstick before promptly smothering him in it. She also vowed to break his  _ other  _ arm if he ever dared hug Wendy before her again. Concussion or not. 

Dipper had returned the favour by telling her that if she did decide to go out to sea with his Grunkles, she had better keep videocalling him. Every day. And every night. 

They figured, ultimately, it was a pretty good deal - if it did come around to such an arrangement.

The news was all over the newly developed… ‘sinkhole’ on Gerron Street, with mass confusion as to how the town’s main pipe had managed to rupture so… explosively.

The giant pit was quite a sight to see; a huge cavern that seemed to burrow off into an elusive tunnel network, deep under the bizarre little Oregon town leaving only a pile of asphalt, brick, slag and concrete - with, at the very bottom, a thick, black, shadowy smear. 

It was quickly written off as nothing more than a standard scale Gravity Falls calamity. Beyond a few gnomes, nobody really had any clue of people being hurt or injured - though people did glance occasionally at Dipper Pines in a sling and Mabel’s knowing grin as she gathered with them behind the police tape and pointed at the remains of what was once Curzon Cankerblight. 

Tyler couldn’t help but feel a slight sense of deja vu whenever he was near the hole, and was all too glad to see it filled in within the next few days.

Oh yes, The Crawlspace was most definitely no more - though rumour has it the Supernatural elements of Gravity Falls have already started a crowdfunder to rebuild it, sans the giant darkness millipede. 

“Preston, you had better read this, dear.”

“What is it, darli- oh. A minor repair job, I take it?”

“Not quite.”

Preston adjusted his lapels and put on his spectacles as he looked over the bill. 

His face dropped. 

The cost of rebuilding Geron street was astronomical, even with his insurance payout for that gas explosion. The fact it should happen in the dead centre of one of his biggest rentals - and he had been  _ assured  _ by that said tenant that allowing underground construction wouldn’t lead to any damage? He was furious. Another hurtful fist into the face of his profit margins - and, worse - no sign of his daughter coming back home to her rightful place.

He fumed and poured himself another Scotch, gripping his glass so firmly it was in danger of breaking. 

“Well, we  _ can  _ cover it. Let’s just hope it’s the end of the trouble for this month, my darling…”

“I think it’s time we paid our dear little Prestie a visit.”

Deep in one of those many tunnels, there was a familiar pittering. A familiar hiss. A familiar, black, shadowy trail that seemed to lead outwards, towards the McGucket’s Hootenanny Hut. Towards what had once been the Northwest Residence. 

A pair of glowing, red eyes and a pale blue grin flashed in the darkness.

“Lead on. My eyes will be back in no time.”

“I hope you’ll have the voice back in order, dearie. He wouldn’t like the surprise, you know.”

“Oh aye, don’t worry about it, duckie. ‘E’ll not ‘ave a clue owt’s up. Luvly job....”

**_FIN._ **

**__ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Phew, that was a bit of a ride, wasn't it? I didn't think I'd ever get to the end of this one - officially the largest in the series and by far the most uh... 'continuity shaking', I suppose.
> 
> I hope you've all enjoyed it. Curzon was an absolute riot to develop considering he only vaguely appeared in a single frame during Lost Legends. Bonus points to those who spot him.
> 
> Proofed by the awesome Kyo - my fiancée, who has also helped with a lot of the major story beats in the next few chapters - and the brilliant PK2317 of the Dipcifica subreddit. Thank you!
> 
> With huge thanks to Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney

**Author's Note:**

> I know, I know. I said that episode 3 was likely to be the last fic - but hey, it turns out I'm a filthy liar.
> 
> This will probably be a fairly slow release rate as I'll be returning to work soon from the COVID-19 lockdown and won't have quite as much 100% free time as I do at the moment. I hope that's alright with you. There'll probably be lots of Dipcifica fluff to make up for it, don't worry. Sometimes more than one chapter will be popped up in one day, sometimes it'll be a few days apart between updates. Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 
> 
> With huge thanks to my fiancee, Kyo, and Alex Hirsch for one of the most fascinating animated series I've ever encountered.  
> If you like my writing, you might (emphasis on might) enjoy my five star rated Alternate History novel, The Great London Conspiracy.  
> www.thegreatconspiracy.co.uk  
> I do also have a ko-fi:  
> https://ko-fi.com/jamooney  
> And a Deviantart-mabob:  
> https://www.deviantart.com/jamooneyart  
> And that there Tumblrs:  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/jamooney


End file.
